A Felon with a Pretty Face

 

Jeremy Meeks.

Jeremy Meeks

Unabomber, Ted Kazinski

Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski

If you don’t recognize that name or face, you don’t own a TV, read the newspaper, have a computer or listen to the radio. That means you’re most likely a hermit living in a cabin in the mountains of Minnesota. Does Minnesota have mountains?  If so, that’s probably where you’re living – sort of like the Unabomber except with essentials: an espresso machine, See’s milk chocolate chews and Crest Extra Whitening Toothpaste. After all, you’re not a barbarian, just uninformed. Now back to Jeremy… Continue reading

Honesty is Still the Best Policy

When I was 7-years-old, I stole a piece of Bazooka bubble gum  while at our neighborhood store, Littleman’s Market. The gum was sitting near the checkout counter, just calling my name. So I put one in my pocket. Bazooka gum with comicOn the walk home with my dad, I retrieved the gum and popped it in my mouth. I was smacking away, like 7-year-olds do, when my dad asked me where I got it. “At the store,” I calmly answered. “Did you pay for it?” I could tell by his voice he wasn’t happy with me and I shook my head in reply. Continue reading

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger (Yeah, Right)

Due to the holiday, and a tiny little problem (which is that I didn’t get around to writing my Sunday blog), I’m re-posting this one from last year. If you already read it, but are anything like yours truly and have a bad memory, just pretend it’s a new one. It works for me…

As promised in last week’s blog, I have now included Pilates classes in my mission to get into shape, whatever that may mean.

Just kill me now

Just kill me now

In my case, it means getting rid of my Kangaroo pouch, developing long-lost muscles and eliminating about a million cellulite cells. (They don’t call me thunder thighs for nothin’, you know.) I think I may have a shot at the first two, but I’m not too optimistic about that last one. Continue reading

Just Gotta Scoot

I tell ya, I’ve gotscooter maniaLast week I blogged about my new scooter, Bruce, immediately renamed Mario when my friend Sue said I simply can’t name an Italian scooter Bruce.

Meet Mario - if my scooter was a man

How I envision Mario

So anyway, Mario and I have already ridden 188 glorious miles together. And what a cheap date… just $6 in gas takes us 100 miles.

The real Mario

The actual Mario

Continue reading

Call Me Irresponsible

So I bought a new scooter a couple weeks ago. I know, I know. You’re probably thinking, “WHY? You hardly use the one you have!” And you would not be incorrect in that regard. But something happened to cause this new purchase. I learned an important fact about myself and it’s this:

So now I’m sure you’re even more confused. But I can explain…

My 2006 Scarabeo Aprillia 50 cc is a carburetor-driven scooter as opposed to one with fuel injection. What?! Translated, that means if one doesn’t drain the gas each winter, keep the battery charged with a trickle charger, or start up the bike regularly (basically pay attention to the poor thing), it essentially rebels by flat out refusing to start. Well, go figure. Continue reading