Have you noticed the longer one lives, the more ridiculousness one experiences? And by one I mean me. Naturally, you wouldn’t know how much ridiculousness I personally encounter because you don’t know me. Unless you’re a friend of mine, that is. In that case you most definitely know the degree of ridiculousness I come across because, let’s face it, I make sure you do.
If we’ve never met, then trust me on this one. Ridiculousness is all around us. If you haven’t noticed, you’re either too young to know better or you’re going through life with
That’s an actual saying. You can look it up.
Another nifty saying, Live and Learn, actually turns out to be true. I know I’m full of sayings today but what can I say? Other than let me tell you the latest ridiculous thing I’ve lived and learned… Continue reading →
A couple weeks ago I divulged my innate ability to get lost (even with GPS). This week, why not tackle my skill at losing things? Things like my keys, my mind and my glasses. I thought I’d slip in the losing my mind reference without much notice, but seems you were paying attention.
My nickname in high school was Skippy because I was, well, a bit scattered and yes, forgetful. Still am. Friends even went so far as to choose that name as my personalized license plate. Motorists thought I loved peanut butter or had a passion for skipping. Little did they know. I’ve been know to forget having met someone. Unbelievable, huh? Sometimes I don’t recall places I’ve supposedly visited. I’ve even watched an entire movie then realized, as the credits rolled, that I’d seen it before. I’ve always been this way, which in a sense gives me comfort. Continue reading →
I still remember that fateful afternoon. I was 8-years-old, walking home from school with my 10-year-old sister, when I learned there was no Easter bunny. She divulged it as if simply commenting on the weather.
In disbelief, I ran crying all the way home, anxious for my mother to dispel that awful lie. She tried, but to no avail. Once I allowed myself to reason, doubt crept in.
I have absolutely no sense of direction. Consequently I’m always lost. That’s unless I’m armed with a device that talks to me and leads the way. In fact, I’m not even sure how I got anywhere until good ol’ GPS came along. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m being serious.
Back in the day, before MapQuest and various technological inventions navigated for us, we relied on paper maps and verbal directions. It was hell. But getting around now is much simpler. Having a sucky sense of direction should no longer be a handicap, right? One would think. But my GPS (Stella) just happens to be directionally challenged.
Sometimes I’ll test Stella even when I know where I’m going. I’ll enter the address, hit the gas and see what transpires. Invariably, she takes the longest route. Sometimes I think she’s high or maybe in the throes of dementia. Simply put, much of the time Stella has absolutely no idea where she’s going. So that makes two of us. Continue reading →
I took a trip recently that required me to fly. No, I’m not actually able to physically fly. Although some might say my flabby upper arms could easily keep me airborne. And although cruel, they may not be entirely inaccurate.
But no, I’m talking about flying in a plane. You see, in my younger days I loved to travel by air. But now I look at it as a necessary evil. Sort of like taxes or condoms.
If you’ve seen that 20/20 episode of confessions from pilots and flight attendants, you’d be justified in driving to your destination, no matter the distance. But that’s a blog for another time…