If you ask me, which you didn’t, the world can be a scary place these days. But I have a theory as to the problem and how it can be solved. Yes, dear friends, it’s a simple solution and one that is readily available because half the world’s population has it: estrogen.
Yes, you read that correctly; it wasn’t a misprint. I do proof read what I write, you know. (Unless it’s 1 a.m. Sunday morning.) That’s because my blog posts at 7 a.m on Sunday. In that case, you get what you get because my Sleep Number bed calls me, leaving me more inclined to ignore a sentence ending with a preposition.
Anyway, my theory isn’t going to endear me to male readers. And although I’m sad to see you go, sometimes one has to take a stand, even when it’s not popular. And let me just say I like to be popular. Not that I am. But I like to be.
So I hope you appreciate what a sacrifice this is for me since if you’re a man, this may be the last post of mine you read. Now don’t get me wrong; if you think I don’t like men you’re sorely mistaken. In fact, I was with one for 36 years. I like men just fine, thank you very much. Besides, my issue isn’t so much with men as it is with what’s inside them. And that would be testosterone.
Yes, folks, it’s the Big T — what makes men, men. But here’s the thing, I’m beginning to think testosterone is the root of most evil. Note that I didn’t say ALL evil. (We all know money claims that spot.) But think about this: for the most part, men run our world and are our religious leaders, holding the most powerful positions in just about every respect. Yet, look at the mess we’re in. (There goes that preposition again.)
For example, men start all our wars and commit an overwhelming majority of violent crimes, including homicides. Under these circumstances, one might fairly conclude that testosterone could be the culprit. Makes sense to me. For example, guys on prolonged steroid use (a form of testosterone) will often exhibit rage, hence the nickname Roid Rage.
Since The Big T is mainly a male hormone, it affects them in other ways. For instance, it’s most likely responsible for keeping a man from eating quiche, wearing pink or crying in public. Or in private. Or ever. Anyway, my point is, testosterone has men in a choke hold of sorts, leaving them at its mercy.
On the flip side, there’s estrogen. We women are bursting with it until menopause, whereupon it drains from our bodies like a leaky water balloon, slowly but surely.
Yes, estrogen makes us emotional. But it doesn’t make us aggressive (although some husbands would beg to differ). And therein lies the solution to all our problems in the world: More estrogen, less testosterone.
In other words, women should be in charge.
In my opinion we’d have less war, more acceptance and compassion. But then I’m a woman so I’m a tad biased. Still, if a powerful woman cried in public, no doubt she’d be ostracized as being weak. I don’t know about you but I’d much rather have someone in charge who, when she’s upset, reaches for Kleenex instead of a gun.
Yes, dear friends, testosterone probably got us in this mess. So I think it’s about time we give estrogen a chance, don’t you?