Last week while gardening I got bit by a poisonous spider on my left thumb. My hand swelled to the size of Donald Trump’s head. I know, I know. I’m picking on the guy. But when I have such juicy material to work with, I simply can’t resist.
Anyway, when the swelling appeared to cut off my circulation, I drove myself to the emergency room. At this point my hand was as hot as a fire iron and crimson red. I can’t tell you how scary and painful it was. Long story short, I’m now typing this blog with one less thumb.
Okay, okay, I’m lying. Need I remind you I said you won’t believe this? Well, I wasn’t lying about that. If you actually fell for my story and felt bad I lost my thumb, I’m sorry you’re gullible.
If you had your hand on my chest right now, yes it’d be inappropriate, but the point is, you’d feel my heart beating like I’d just seen a ghost. I’d love that, actually. Seeing a ghost, that is. But the reason my heart is on overdrive is because my 4 mutts were just attacked by another dog.
I almost talked myself out of taking Callie, Skip, Wally and Taffy for a stroll because, well, it’s called pure laziness. My days have been so packed lately that when I drag my weary bones home, the thought of moving from my cozy chair is not an inviting one.
Still, guilt won me over. How can I relax when 8 eyeballs are glued to my every move? I felt their stares even as I pretended to be asleep. But my unsympathetic mutts were having none of it. So I begrudgingly took them for a walk.
Our USTA 65+ women’s tennis team won our league playoffs to go to Sectionals this past week. I know, shocking, huh? I have to admit we surprised everyone, including ourselves, after beating the team that nearly won at Nationals last year.
For those of you who follow tennis about as much as you follow cricket, it means the team we beat was a whisper away from being the best 65+ women’s team in the nation. Kind of a big deal for amateur tennis players.
So during playoffs, it’s safe to say our hopes weren’t particularly high. In fact, our opponents brought champagne and had a luncheon spread to celebrate their impending victory. But here’s the thing — sometimes luck wins out over talent. And as luck would have it, we beat them.
Two scary things happened last week that were, well…scary. Frightening is another good adjective. I could even say alarming. But rest assured all is well, though it did get me thinking about what to do if this occurs again.
The first incident happened at my desk while I read and sent emails, a never ending task. Seemingly out of nowhere, I started to feel odd. Some of you will say, “But you ARE odd.” That, however, is beside the point.
No, this feeling was different. My head started to throb then my jaw began to ache, first up near my ears next to my jaw hinges, which I’m guessing carries a more technical name. (I just looked it up and it’s actually called a temporomandibular joint, which is why I’m sticking with jaw hinges.)