Am I Losing It?

It’s an epidemic.

Many of my friends are in the same boat with me when it comes to frequently foggy memories. I have to say, it gives me immense pleasure knowing I’m not floating out there alone. That sounds callous, doesn’t it? But mostly, it fills me with hope that I’m not, in fact, losing it. It being my mind. Granted, I never had a particularly sharp one. But these days I sometimes find my boat lost in a sea of fog.losing my mind 2

Getting older hasn’t bothered me that much. I mean, if it weren’t for my stupid back, I mostly feel like a 30-year-old. I don’t have aching body parts a 64-year-old might expect. Maybe because I’ve always been active. Now don’t get me wrong; just because I don’t feel my age doesn’t mean I don’t look it. I certainly do. Sadly, I recently gazed into my 10x magnifying mirror and just for a second wished I was blind.

magnifying mirror 2

Don’t do it

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Help, I’m Crumbling!

Last week I clipped my fingernails almost down to the quick, where barely any of the white parts show. Why, you might be wondering, did I do such a thing? I thought you’d never ask. And I have a very good explanation for that. Pain. It has to do with pain. I’ll explain…

fingernails

Bye bye nails

As you know, I’m dealing with this damn back of mine to the point I’ve not been able to exercise in over 4 months. Boo-hoo. As a consequence, my body now closely resembles the blubber in the movie, Flubber. Except I’m not green.flubber

And as an added bonus, I’ve gained 5 pounds. Yep, I finally broke down and weighed myself with my super-duper-never-wrong-bathroom scale. I wish I could call it a liar but sadly, it’s honest to a flaw.bathroom scale

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Does Wisdom Really Come With Age?

They say with age comes wisdom. I’m not so sure I believe that. You see, I’m not exactly a spring chicken so you’d think I’d be pretty smart by now, wouldn’t you? There’s no doubt I’ve learned stuff along the way that’s helped me navigate through life. But in some areas I’m still quite lacking. And for that I blame my poor memory. How can I acquire this wisdom if my memory is on strike?

For instance, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve misplaced my keys. When I walk into the house, I should have a routine where I put them, don’t you think? Sounds reasonable to me. If I had a routine it would go like this: place the keys in a bowl on the counter. How hard is that? Apparently very.

Where my keys should go

Where my keys should go

My mind is like a game of leap frog. It jumps from one thing to another. So by the time I exit the car, walk to the door, open it and walk in, I’m already on to another thought. I think I’ll make myself a grilled cheese sandwich then water the annuals. Oh, and I suppose I should fertilize while I’m at it. And so it goes…

Any conscious thought about keys became lost within the 20-foot span it took me to get into the house. Poof! Continue reading

Why All the Fuss Over Breasts?

Since this week was crazy busy, here’s a post I thought you (meaning men) might enjoy reading again since it’s a subject near and dear to your heart…

Breasts, boobs, knockers, The Girls. Now that I have your attention, allow me to elaborate.BreastsRecently some friends and I somehow raised (so to speak) the subject of breasts. I’m sure you’re thinking: Now how would that subject ever come up? Or maybe you’re thinking: finally, a topic I’m interested in! Regardless, bosoms are the focus of this week’s blog. Continue reading