I believe I’m destined to be forced into wearing a rather gaudy accessory, one which promises to be exceptionally unflattering. Especially when I’m wearing a dress and heels. Wait, who am I kidding? That scenario only happens at weddings and funerals. But I digress…
What’s this accessory I’m referring to? A neck brace, that’s what. Now don’t get me wrong. I didn’t fall over the doggie gate (again) and wrench my pencil neck. No, it’s much worse; it seems my cat Tippi prefers to sleep across said neck every night, as opposed to snoozing in one of many pet beds spread about the house.
It’s my fault. I’m a big push-over, unwilling to insist my cat slumber on a body part impervious to suffocation. Owning a cat weighing the equivalent of a 10 lb. sack of sugar draped across one’s windpipe, is not exactly conducive to a restful night’s sleep. Consequently, I have a rather annoying neck kink.
So Monday I’m driving in the rain, tending to the usual feral cat stuff. And even though my blog runs on Sundays, I started thinking about my next topic. It’s never too early to plan, especially since I’m a last minute kinda gal. (Sometimes I’m writing at midnight Saturday night.) So I’m thinking and I’m thinking. But…
Now don’t get me wrong; I knew something would come to me (and probably Saturday around midnight). But then, there ya go. Just like that, something came to me. And here it is:
Monday’s weather was weird. Rain one minute, sunny the next. Surprisingly, I actually remembered to bring my raincoat. For my last errand, I headed to Home Depot for tin garbage cans to store excess cat food since rodents have discovered my garage is a culinary gold mine.
The garbage cans were outside in the garden section but the lids sat on a top shelf. (Naturally.) So to reach them, I placed my purse on the lid of one can and used another can to hoist myself up to grab the lids. I thought, okay, now I’m outta here. Except my purse was gone. It had slid into a can where 3 inches of rain water sat waiting to soak my Baggallini .
Not a whole lot has changed since I wrote Confessions of a Sugar Addict in 2014. And that’s why, for those of you who know me, I’m about to tell you something that will have you calling me a liar. Simply put, you won’t believe me. Drum roll please…I have not eaten sweets in 119 days(and counting).
I’ll wait while you recuperate from fainting after reading that. I’m sure the shock must be overwhelming. I’m going to get an apple while I wait…be back in a few. Okay, I’m back. Hope you’re feeling better now.
Yes friends, I’m almost sugar free. ALMOST being the operative word. I’m not a perfect human. I have my vices and the white stuff happens to be one of them. Precisely because I’m flawed means I will again one day eat chocolate. It’s a given. Like bell bottoms making a comeback.
It’s 11:30 p.m. and I won’t be sleeping anytime soon. My adrenaline is surging like a spewing fire hydrant. That’s because I just got home from stealing 4 cats with Loretta, my partner in crime.
Loretta won’t let me take her photo so this will have to do
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not normally a cat snatcher. I’m more a cat trapper…as in trapping feral cats for sterilization. Tonight, however, was different.
Marin Friends of Ferals has relocated over 500 un-adoptable cats to act as mousers that also receive daily food and water. Only 4 times we’ve had to retrieve them for inadequate care. (Read The Great Escape for another cat caper I chronicled.) Tonight’s snatch was equally exhilarating. Except last time we didn’t get caught. Continue reading →
The longer one lives, the more one learns. At least that’s what I hear. But this has not exactly been my experience. Some of us didn’t get that memo so we’re still learning. And by us I mean me. I’m rapidly gaining ground on 63 yet I’m still realizing some essentials in life. You probably think I should know them all by now, wouldn’t you? Sadly, no. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not a total loss. There are things I’ve learned. For instance…
One should always floss.
Brushing and not flossing is like taking a shower without using soap. What’s the point? You don’t think some of that ham sandwich you had for lunch is wedged between your molars? Think again. Flossing keeps your gums healthy, which keeps your pearly whites in your mouth. So basically, flossing keeps you from becoming toothless. Keep your teeth people!
Don’t buy the $7 a month Direct TV receiver insurance.
But if you do, like I did, just know that the month you cancel is the exact month your receiver will stop working. Never mind that you forgot you ever signed up in the first place, 9 YEARS AGO, because you never check your bill and could have bought multiple receivers by now with that $930. Generally speaking, extended warranties are not considered cost effective. You’re welcome.
My $930 receiver
Just know that once you buy a new car, someone is going to ding your door in the Safeway parking lot.Continue reading →