Category Archives: Humor

A Leap of Faith

Posted on by

This post was one of the first I wrote 10 years ago, so long ago you don’t remember it, do you? That’s okay. My memory sucks too. So this will be just like new to you (and me!).

While my three friends and I huddled on the cold steel floor of the single engine Cessna, I struggled to remember what possessed me to want to hurl myself from an airborne metal tube.

Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not crazy. At least I think I’m not. But still, I seriously questioned my sanity while checking my parachute pack for the tenth time. My curiosity was not based on its technical construction but simply to confirm that it was still on my back. Continue reading →

A Despicable Human Being

Posted on by

So the I Spy saga continues.

To refresh your memory, my friend Kate’s brother, John, has dementia. He lives at a retirement community where another resident, Bernice, aka The Vulture, is after his life savings.

Bernice look-alike

Bernice, we suspect, is a career elder abuse criminal who latches onto lonely, wealthy gentlemen to bilk them from their riches before finding her next victim. In other words, she’s a real gem.

Last week Kate took Bernice to court. Now don’t get me wrong; I didn’t let her go alone. I accompanied her for moral support but also to leer at this despicable human being. But since I’m not adept at leering, I decided to first practice in my bathroom mirror. I attempted to look disgusted while conveying a demeanor of, hey lady, you better back off or you’ll regret it. Which conveys that to you?

Continue reading →

Our Sweet Boy

Posted on by

For 7 years, our Marin Friends of Ferals volunteers have fed an orange cat (OC) living behind a theater in Novato. He was originally part of a sterilized feral cat colony across the freeway so we trapped and returned him, but he headed back to the theater. That OC is an independent fellow.

A couple months ago, the visiting CEO discovered our feeding station and demanded we promptly remove it, along with OC. Sadly, just like The Grinch, his heart is two sizes too small. When we ignored his demand, he had his employees throw away our feeding station. So we put out another. It, too, disappeared. Rinse and repeat.

Continue reading →

The Hits Just Keep on Comin’

Posted on by

This blog was originally posted in October, 2016. I’m sure you don’t remember it, so enjoy!

I promise this will be my last Wally blog entry for a while. Now don’t get me wrong; I didn’t return him to the humane society. I’m not that cold-hearted. Frankly I’m surprised the idea even crossed your mind because it’s never crossed mine. But let me tell ya, I’m beginning to think Wally’s previous owner neglected to divulge some of the Wallster’s less desirable behaviors.

wally-on-stairs

Caught in the act

As you read last Sunday, Wally is challenged in a few areas: peeing and pooping in the house, not coming when called, chewing anything he can fit into his mouth, barking at strangers, car sickness, fear of rain, stealing food from my plate…

and-the-hits-just-keep-on-comin2

Wally’s previous owner returned him saying his car sickness was a deal breaker since he planned to take Wally to work with him. To that I say phooey! And I never say phooey. My guess is he couldn’t handle the truth — Wally isn’t easy. These days I keep reminding myself nothing worthwhile ever is. Continue reading →

I Spy

Posted on by

Many moons ago a couple girlfriends and I were faced with a dilemma. We believed a friend’s wife was having an affair. Outraged but intrigued, we realized we had a couple options: we could mind our own business or we could do something about it. Being stupid, young and bored, you can guess what we chose.

After much planning, which we found disturbingly exciting, we decided to act and met up one night, dressed in dark clothing because all spies need to stay incognito, right?

So when the alleged cheater got off work, we tailed her, careful to keep an unnoticeable distance. All those detective programs paid off because she had no clue we were 3 cars behind her. Spying was an exhilarating adrenaline rush. That feeling, however, quickly dissolved into heartbreak when we followed her to her boyfriend’s home.

Continue reading →