Category Archives: Humor

Mr. Sandman, Where Art Thou?

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I’m screwed (so to speak). And mostly because I don’t sleep. Well, I sleep, just not enough. And therein lies the problem.

You see, I read recently that lack of sleep could result in heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, memory loss, stroke, anxiety, obesity, and a higher chance of injury. But that’s not all. There’s more, but I’m depressed now. Uh oh, that’s one of the symptoms!

Turns out I AM injury prone and my memory isn’t what you’d call stellar. Not even close. But I noticed they didn’t mention crabby and I’m here to tell you, that’s definitely a symptom. Just ask my pets after I’ve had 4 broken hours of shut-eye.

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Spring Has Sprung!

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…in other words, it’s time to haul out the patio furniture (once our monsoons stop), grab the gardening tools, get ready to plant those annuals and gear up for summer.

But for me, this time of year also means organizing every closet, cupboard and drawer in the house. Not because I want to, mind you. I can think of 37 much more interesting things I’d rather do. But since I’ve been lax of late, my cupboards look like we had a recent earthquake. No longer are the cans and bottles lined up facing forward and boxes neatly stacked. It’s what you’d call a…

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A Leap of Faith

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This post was one of the first I wrote 10 years ago, so long ago you don’t remember it, do you? That’s okay. My memory sucks too. So this will be just like new to you (and me!).

While my three friends and I huddled on the cold steel floor of the single engine Cessna, I struggled to remember what possessed me to want to hurl myself from an airborne metal tube.

Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not crazy. At least I think I’m not. But still, I seriously questioned my sanity while checking my parachute pack for the tenth time. My curiosity was not based on its technical construction but simply to confirm that it was still on my back. Continue reading →

A Despicable Human Being

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So the I Spy saga continues.

To refresh your memory, my friend Kate’s brother, John, has dementia. He lives at a retirement community where another resident, Bernice, aka The Vulture, is after his life savings.

Bernice look-alike

Bernice, we suspect, is a career elder abuse criminal who latches onto lonely, wealthy gentlemen to bilk them from their riches before finding her next victim. In other words, she’s a real gem.

Last week Kate took Bernice to court. Now don’t get me wrong; I didn’t let her go alone. I accompanied her for moral support but also to leer at this despicable human being. But since I’m not adept at leering, I decided to first practice in my bathroom mirror. I attempted to look disgusted while conveying a demeanor of, hey lady, you better back off or you’ll regret it. Which conveys that to you?

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Our Sweet Boy

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For 7 years, our Marin Friends of Ferals volunteers have fed an orange cat (OC) living behind a theater in Novato. He was originally part of a sterilized feral cat colony across the freeway so we trapped and returned him, but he headed back to the theater. That OC is an independent fellow.

A couple months ago, the visiting CEO discovered our feeding station and demanded we promptly remove it, along with OC. Sadly, just like The Grinch, his heart is two sizes too small. When we ignored his demand, he had his employees throw away our feeding station. So we put out another. It, too, disappeared. Rinse and repeat.

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