Category Archives: Humor

10 Ways to Influence People Without Talking

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I was dealing with Covid last week so here’s a post from 2017. Happy 2024 everyone!

Yesterday I was reading about observational studies, including ways to influence people without actually speaking to them. In other words, silent communication. Not that I want to influence anyone, mind you. Nor be silent. As you learned in last week’s post, not speaking is tough for me.

But ever since I minored in Abnormal Psychology in college I’ve been fascinated by studies that attempt to interpret behavior (probably why I’m so interested in true crime stories). So here’s what I learned from these various studies:

 
abnormal-psychology1) If a person is interested in who they’re talking to and what they’re saying, their pupils dilate. So next time you go on and on about your crappy job, look closely into the listeners eyes. If those pupils are as tiny as a grain of sand, consider changing the subject. Sex is always an eye opener.
 
diatlated-pupil-2

Definitely discussing sex

2) If you’re a waitress, studies show that servers who touch customers on the arm, shoulder or hand get better tips. So get grabby and rake in the bucks, ladies! I’m guessing that means waiters, however, should keep their hands to themselves, lest they get slapped with a sexual harassment suit. Talk about double standards…

 
3) If you want to look important, take up space. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not talking scarf an entire bag of Double Stuff Oreos and put on the pounds. Taking up space means it helps to sit tall during a job interview. Statistically speaking, taller people are more liked and rise higher, professionally, than shorter folks…just another reason for me to resent being 5’3”.
 

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The Joys of Sheltering in Place

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Here’s a post from 2020 when we were in the midst of dealing with the virus…

Don’t hate me, but ever since COVID-19 took over our lives, I’ve been like someone on Adderall. Not that I know what that’s like. The strongest thing I take is an anti-inflammatory. I’ve never even smoked weed. I’ve used pot cream for my back though. Does that count? But I digress…my point is I’ve been busy and productive of late.You should see my current To-Do list. Used to be as long as my arm and now it’s the length of my nose. Now don’t get me wrong; that’s still pretty long, if you’ve ever seen my nose. Little doubt I’ll again add to that list, but oh the satisfaction of crossing off stuff I’ve been staring at for months, if not years. 

I now have newly painted door frames, stair risers and baseboards — no more chips from errant vacuuming. I can now park in my garage…I secured the backyard retaining wall vine…I removed the upstairs bathroom ceiling heating fan cover. Do you know I’ve been staring at 11 dead bees in that for months? Yes, I counted them. Makes me wonder what’s going on in my attic.

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The Innocence of Youth

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I still remember that fateful afternoon. I was 8-years-old, walking home from school with my 10-year-old sister, when I learned there was no Easter bunny. She divulged it as if Easter-Bunnysimply commenting on the weather.

In disbelief, I ran crying all the way home, anxious for my mother to dispel that awful lie. She tried, but to no avail. Once I allowed myself to reason, doubt crept in.      Continue reading →

Getting Lost

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Remember way back before apps like Waze came along to get us where we’re going? Sadly, I do. Here’s a post from March, 2015 that makes me happy I no longer rely on Stella, my old GPS..compassI have absolutely no sense of direction. Consequently I’m always lost. That’s unless I’m armed with a device that talks to me and leads the way. In fact, I’m not even sure how I got anywhere until good old GPS came along. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m being serious.

Back in the day, before MapQuest and various technological inventions navigated for us, we relied on paper maps and verbal directions. It was hell. But getting around now is much simpler. Having a sucky sense of direction should no longer be a handicap, right? One would think. But my GPS (Stella) just happens to be directionally challenged.

Stella

Sometimes I’ll test Stella even when I know where I’m going. I’ll enter the address, hit the gas and see what transpires. Invariably, she takes the longest route. Sometimes I think she’s high or maybe in the throes of dementia. Simply put, much of the time Stella has absolutely no idea where she’s going. So that makes two of us. Continue reading →

Don’t Leave Home Without It

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I can’t believe I’m old enough to say this but back in the day I didn’t have a cell phone in my purse whenever I left the house. That’s because they weren’t invented yet. Unlike today, I was able to function just fine without staying connected every second of every day to every human being I know. If I needed to talk to someone I waited until I got home to dial them from our rotary phone.

beige phone 2

Yep, my family had a dial-up phone ages ago. Now don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t around in the day of switchboards like on the Andy Griffith Show where Andy has to ask switchboard operator, Sarah, to ring Aunt Bee for him. Please, I’m not THAT old!

andy griffith

Anyway, our phone was beige with a long coiled cord that stretched from the kitchen nook into the dining room where we sat and gabbed. But for many years prior, the cord was only 2 feet long so we had to stand to talk. This was also the day of party lines. Know about those?

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