Category Archives: Humor

Could The Tide Be Turning?

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I’ll start by saying I believe I’m a pretty decent driver. After all, I’ve been behind the wheel for 52 years so I’ve had a ton of practice. In all that time, I’ve received only two moving violations, better known as tickets. But it’s not like I follow all the rules of the road. In fact, I’m a bit of a speed demon. A lead foot, if you will.

Now don’t get me wrong; I’m no Danica Patrick. But on the freeway, I’m rarely in the slow lane unless I’m exiting. Mostly I go with the flow, as my high school driver’s ed teacher suggested. Can I help it if the flow is going 75 mph? Besides, it’s not like I zigzag between lanes like a ball in a pinball machine.

Danica
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A Questionable Start to 2024

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Okay, so this is getting weird. A couple weeks ago I blogged about how 2023 ended on a bad note but hoped 2024 would have a better start. Well, so much for hope. Now don’t get me wrong; 2024 isn’t a lost cause because we’re only 35 days into it but I have to say I’m not lovin’ the trend here. Why not, you ask? Partly because I’m a…

For instance, last week I lost a set of keys for my work vehicle. The keys included my one and only house key plus an unidentified key which I have no clue of its purpose. Still, I kept it on my key chain holder in case I happen to remember. (Yeah right, like THAT’S gonna happen.) The thing is, the battery died in that key fob so I locked the car by inserting the key into the door, thereby preventing me from locking it inside.

I was at Marin Humane, rushing to drive 20 cats 2 hours north for a spay/neuter clinic. Running just 50 feet from the SUV to the feral cat room, this nincompoop somehow managed to lose the keys. I’m telling you, they disappeared like a puff of smoke in the wind. My saving grace? Transporting the cats in Marin Humane’s huge van.

My guess is the keys will turn up eventually, even though I searched every square inch of those 50 feet. But in the meantime, I need to buy another key fob and have more house keys made. But good riddance to the unidentified key which no doubt one day I’ll regret losing. Oh dear keys…

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Listening to my Innards

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premonition

Do you believe in premonitions? I suppose some would call it intuition, instinct, or maybe simply a feeling. Whatever, I find it fascinating, mostly because it happens to me a lot. Sometimes I’ve ignored the message and it causes me grief of some sort, as if to say, I told you so! Why didn’t you listen?

So now that I’m older and dare I say wiser, I’m finally good at listening to my innards, so to speak. How about you?

listening

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Does Wisdom Really Come With Age?

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(I reprinted this post from 2013, which sadly is still relevant today.)

They say with age comes wisdom. I’m not so sure I believe that. You see, I’m not exactly a spring chicken so you’d think I’d be pretty smart by now, wouldn’t you? There’s no doubt I’ve learned stuff along the way that’s helped me navigate through life. But in some areas I’m still quite lacking. And for that I blame my poor memory. How can I acquire this wisdom if my memory is on strike?

For instance, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve misplaced my keys. When I walk into the house, I should have a routine where I put them, don’t you think? Sounds reasonable to me. If I had a routine it would go like this: place the keys in a bowl on the counter. How hard is that? Apparently very.

Where my keys should go

My mind is like a game of leap frog. It jumps from one thing to another. So by the time I exit the car, walk to the door, open it and walk in, I’m already on to another thought. I think I’ll make myself a grilled cheese sandwich then water the annuals. Oh, and I suppose I should fertilize while I’m at it. And so it goes…

Any conscious thought about keys became lost within the 20-foot span it took me to get into the house. Poof!

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10 Ways to Influence People Without Talking

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I was dealing with Covid last week so here’s a post from 2017. Happy 2024 everyone!

Yesterday I was reading about observational studies, including ways to influence people without actually speaking to them. In other words, silent communication. Not that I want to influence anyone, mind you. Nor be silent. As you learned in last week’s post, not speaking is tough for me.

But ever since I minored in Abnormal Psychology in college I’ve been fascinated by studies that attempt to interpret behavior (probably why I’m so interested in true crime stories). So here’s what I learned from these various studies:

 
abnormal-psychology1) If a person is interested in who they’re talking to and what they’re saying, their pupils dilate. So next time you go on and on about your crappy job, look closely into the listeners eyes. If those pupils are as tiny as a grain of sand, consider changing the subject. Sex is always an eye opener.
 
diatlated-pupil-2

Definitely discussing sex

2) If you’re a waitress, studies show that servers who touch customers on the arm, shoulder or hand get better tips. So get grabby and rake in the bucks, ladies! I’m guessing that means waiters, however, should keep their hands to themselves, lest they get slapped with a sexual harassment suit. Talk about double standards…

 
3) If you want to look important, take up space. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not talking scarf an entire bag of Double Stuff Oreos and put on the pounds. Taking up space means it helps to sit tall during a job interview. Statistically speaking, taller people are more liked and rise higher, professionally, than shorter folks…just another reason for me to resent being 5’3”.
 

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