So you probably know about my trials and tribulations with a leaky kitchen faucet. Trouble was, the insurance inspector couldn’t say for sure if that caused my hardwood floor to buckle but they refused to replace it just the same. I griped about it, threatened to go elsewhere, and the funds miraculously appeared in my checking account.

So off I went to look for new flooring, deciding on Luxury Vinyl Planks because it’s practically bullet-proof. That’s fine and dandy but what I wanted is flooring that’s pee-proof, water-proof, scratch-proof, and one that cleans itself. I got three out of four. Not bad.

You see, Taffy misses her pee pad almost daily. Callie, who is 13 this month, physically can’t make it out the dog door most days and try as she might to hit the pee pad, her foggy eyes mean her aim isn’t stellar. Then there’s Oliver with his luxurious long fur (which means constantly cleaning up hairballs) and Fat Jack who overindulges then promptly vomits his meal. Consequently, as much as I like it, hardwood flooring in my house is dumb.