8 1/2 Fingers and Counting

They say bad things happen in threes.

Well, I’m two-thirds of the way there so I figure #3 is lurking nearby, ready to pounce. Will I be driving, swerve to avoid a deer and crunch my car against a tree? Will I be walking the dogs when Skip, for the millionth time, stops directly in front of me for no apparent reason, whereupon I nosedive onto the sidewalk, breaking said nose? Or, more likely, it will have something to do with cats. It usually does.

don't blame the catTake injury #1 that occurred 3 weeks ago. I was trapping ferals for spay/neuter and using our new remote control drop trap for the first time. What an awesome invention. Cats are smart little buggers and they sometimes catch on to the fact that I’m trying to capture them, especially when I have to be present to operate a normal drop trap. They seem to know I’m hiding 50 feet away in the bed of a pickup, not-so-clandestinely peeking over the tailgate.

But with a remote control trap, I can be 200 feet away. Sometimes I need binoculars to see whether it’s a crow under there or a small black cat. But after testing the trap, I noticed it sometimes jammed when I pulled the trigger, failing to drop down all the way. This is not good. The cats were watching, like furry little spies, from behind wheels of parked cars, so I decided to test the trap again but catch it before the heavy metal hit the cement with a bang, scattering the ferals.

great idea

Or was it?

Continue reading

The Art of Cursing

I never swore until I was out of my teens. Pretty shocking, huh? Let’s just say I was a good girl with my verbiage for most of my early years. As a kid, I never had to suck on a bar of soap like my sister did after being busted for swearing. I did, however, thoroughly enjoy watching her do so. Actually, I shocked myself the first time the word shit slipped from my lips. It felt wrong while at the same time strangely satisfying.

Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not some potty-mouthed person who is addicted to swearing. Please! I’m a nice Catholic girl who attended Church twice a year (Christmas and Easter) and now only for weddings and funerals. Hey, I never said I was perfect, did I?

Having said that, there’s something satisfying about cursing. When someone cuts me off on the freeway, darn it! just doesn’t cut it, you know? In the privacy of my vehicle, where nobody can hear me, I say what I imagine a truck driver might exclaim under similar circumstances. I’m guessing it’s pretty much a regular occurrence in that occupation.

Continue reading

Meeting Officer Allen

Last Friday I’m driving to Forgotten Felines to deliver feral cats being relocated to new outdoor homes. On the way, I stopped to quickly train a group of ladies who volunteered to feed cats living near the fairgrounds.

forgotten-felines

While at a stoplight, my phone pinged. I glanced at it on the passenger seat. It was Forgotten Felines. Why were they contacting me? Something must be wrong. So I picked up my phone to read the text. Damn! It said they needed to postpone until Monday but to keep driving if I’m already on my way.

Relieved, I put the phone down. Then I glanced to my left. There, staring back at me, was a policeman.

oops

Continue reading

What Annoys Me

I’ll tell you what annoys me in 619 words. Now don’t get me wrong; that in no way adequately describes the depth of my annoyances. After all, even though I’m easy going most of the time, I’ve discovered I am, after all, human.

I hear we mellow with age but I wonder. In my case I believe “they” are wrong and I’d like to have a word with “them.” Actually, I think the key is the older I’ve become, the more comfortable I am with calling it like I see it. In my younger days I was more concerned about being a likeable young lady.

Anyway, I’ve just wasted 107 words so let’s get to those annoyances, okay?

Continue reading

My Thursday Night

So Thursday night at about 8:30 I’m relaxing in my favorite chair, feet propped up on the ottoman, when I decided to check on one of my foster cats. A couple minutes later I return to find my dog Taffy munching something orange. I thought, what is that? That’s when I saw what was left of a pack of gum.

Scene of the crime

I’m a gum chewer from way back, which is why a friend gave me a pack of Trident Orange Swirl with my Christmas gift. It sat on the table next to my chair, which apparently was a big mistake. Sugar free Trident has xylitol in it and is extremely toxic to dogs. So I quickly called Pet Emergency because Taffy didn’t have the courtesy to poison herself during regular business hours.

Pre-Taffy

Pet Emergency had me call the ASPCA Poison Hotline to give them info so they’d know how to treat Taffy. Turns out xylitol causes hypoglycemia, seizures, liver failure and sometimes death. It’s even more toxic to dogs than chocolate.

Continue reading