Recently I wrote about an optometrist discovering I have weird eyes in that the angle around the inside edges (to simplify a complicated explanation) is tilted in such a way that my eye fluid (yes, we have eye fluid), wasn’t draining like it should which could result in glaucoma and possible blindness if gone undetected. So a couple weeks ago an ophthalmologist made a hole in my left retina with a laser and on Friday he lasered the right . Let the draining begin!

Apparently as we age, it’s not just aches and pains we deal with. We can get something called shingles, which is said to be hiding in the bodies of adults over 50 who have had chicken pox. Yikes. Seems it plays hide seek with us so we never know when it’ll pop out, like Jack in the Box (the toy, not the fast food restaurant).

Turns out a lot of older people become hard of hearing. I guess all those years going to concerts catches up with you at some point. Thankfully, I wasn’t into heavy metal so my ears hear just fine, thank you. In fact, sometimes more than I’d like them to. Like recently at the market when I heard a tyke throwing a tantrum from way across the store. So thumbs up for good ears.

When you’re getting long in the tooth, you don’t expect to wake up feeling like 7 of your 10 pets slept on you all night, which in my case is the case. But getting out of bed and walking to the bathroom like I’m 90 is a bit disturbing and makes me feel, well, 90. Thankfully, it passes quickly but the fact that it happens at all only reminds me of my impending mortality.

Now don’t get me wrong; I don’t normally feel old except on the way to the bathroom each morning. Or the fact that it’s virtually impossible for me to make it through the night without a bathroom visit. Trust me, I’ve tried. I lay awake pretending I don’t have to pee. Inevitably, I give up, get up, and go. You just wait. Your day will come. Or in this case, your night.

But hey, I’m still pretty limber. I run around the tennis court and get to most drop shots, unless they’re from Hilary or Sue. (They’re masters at drop shots, damn them.) But then, how quickly the tide turns. A couple days ago, I stepped over a folding gate to keep my mutts from the family room while Omar fixed the gas fireplace. Holding my caramel latte, I caught my toe at the top of the gate and flew onto the kitchen floor, landing on both kneecaps. In gymnastics they’d say I stuck the landing.

Three good things came from that fall. First, I didn’t break anything, including my coffee cup still in my hand. Apparently I’m a graceful klutz. Second, I bounced up so quickly Omar didn’t even notice I fell. None of that, “Help, I’ve fallen and can’t get up” stuff for me! Third, I didn’t have much coffee to mop up because Skip, Wally and Taffy got there first. Uh oh, can dogs have caffeine?

All this is to say that as we age, crap happens to our bodies and our brains (as I’m learning). Just a perk of getting older. My mom used to say the golden years are brass. I don’t think 68 is considered the golden years yet, is it? Hope not. Oh, but I forgot (see what I mean?) to mention I recently developed arthritis in both thumbs, which doesn’t exactly thrill me.

But as long as I avoid folding gates and can hold a tennis racket, I’m…