Author Archives: Janet

A Despicable Human Being

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So the I Spy saga continues.

To refresh your memory, my friend Kate’s brother, John, has dementia. He lives at a retirement community where another resident, Bernice, aka The Vulture, is after his life savings.

Bernice look-alike

Bernice, we suspect, is a career elder abuse criminal who latches onto lonely, wealthy gentlemen to bilk them from their riches before finding her next victim. In other words, she’s a real gem.

Last week Kate took Bernice to court. Now don’t get me wrong; I didn’t let her go alone. I accompanied her for moral support but also to leer at this despicable human being. But since I’m not adept at leering, I decided to first practice in my bathroom mirror. I attempted to look disgusted while conveying a demeanor of, hey lady, you better back off or you’ll regret it. Which conveys that to you?

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Our Sweet Boy

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For 7 years, our Marin Friends of Ferals volunteers have fed an orange cat (OC) living behind a theater in Novato. He was originally part of a sterilized feral cat colony across the freeway so we trapped and returned him, but he headed back to the theater. That OC is an independent fellow.

A couple months ago, the visiting CEO discovered our feeding station and demanded we promptly remove it, along with OC. Sadly, just like The Grinch, his heart is two sizes too small. When we ignored his demand, he had his employees throw away our feeding station. So we put out another. It, too, disappeared. Rinse and repeat.

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The Hits Just Keep on Comin’

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This blog was originally posted in October, 2016. I’m sure you don’t remember it, so enjoy!

I promise this will be my last Wally blog entry for a while. Now don’t get me wrong; I didn’t return him to the humane society. I’m not that cold-hearted. Frankly I’m surprised the idea even crossed your mind because it’s never crossed mine. But let me tell ya, I’m beginning to think Wally’s previous owner neglected to divulge some of the Wallster’s less desirable behaviors.

wally-on-stairs

Caught in the act

As you read last Sunday, Wally is challenged in a few areas: peeing and pooping in the house, not coming when called, chewing anything he can fit into his mouth, barking at strangers, car sickness, fear of rain, stealing food from my plate…

and-the-hits-just-keep-on-comin2

Wally’s previous owner returned him saying his car sickness was a deal breaker since he planned to take Wally to work with him. To that I say phooey! And I never say phooey. My guess is he couldn’t handle the truth — Wally isn’t easy. These days I keep reminding myself nothing worthwhile ever is. Continue reading →

I Spy

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Many moons ago a couple girlfriends and I were faced with a dilemma. We believed a friend’s wife was having an affair. Outraged but intrigued, we realized we had a couple options: we could mind our own business or we could do something about it. Being stupid, young and bored, you can guess what we chose.

After much planning, which we found disturbingly exciting, we decided to act and met up one night, dressed in dark clothing because all spies need to stay incognito, right?

So when the alleged cheater got off work, we tailed her, careful to keep an unnoticeable distance. All those detective programs paid off because she had no clue we were 3 cars behind her. Spying was an exhilarating adrenaline rush. That feeling, however, quickly dissolved into heartbreak when we followed her to her boyfriend’s home.

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The Curse of the Gravitational Pull

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Did you see the full moon last Sunday? Wasn’t it magnificent? I don’t know much about full moons, except that they cause high tides because of the lunar gravitational pull on oceans facing the moon. But that’s not all.

Researchers discovered that during a full moon, people spend 30% less time in deep sleep (known as NREM sleep) and sleep for 20 minutes less than nights without a full moon. Could this explain why people seem a little more loony than usual during full moons? Could 20 minutes less sleep really cause that?

Now don’t get me wrong; this post isn’t meant to be educationally enlightening, as the extent of my knowledge concerning full moons is quite meager. But what I’ve noticed during this once a month event is that people seem more agitated, annoyed and grouchy, to name some not-so-pleasant behavior changes. I can’t blame it on 20 minutes of less sleep, as I myself am lucky to get 5 hours a night, yet I think I’m a rather pleasant person regardless of limited shut-eye. But evidently a full moon actually does wreak havoc on us — the gravitational pull and all that. If it can affect our tides, why can’t it make some of us a little more anxious and irritable?

Thus is the extent of my full moon knowledge
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