Category Archives: Humor

Night Owl or Morning Lark?

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hands up

I don’t know about you but for me one of the least desirable aspects of getting longer in the tooth is lack of sleep.

Gone are the nights of 10-hour slumbers like in my teens. In my 20s-30s I often achieved a steady 9 hours. In my 40s-50s, 8 hours hit the spot. Ah, those were the days.

Now that I’m in my 60s, my snoozing time lasts about as long as an Oliver Stone movie, generally just over 3 hours. I’m then awake for 2, followed by another hour or two of semi-consciousness. I tell ya, if I keep going like this, when I hit 70 the act of a prolonged blink will constitute a nice little nap.

dear 3 a.m

I suppose it doesn’t help that I’m a night owl. Now don’t get me wrong; it’s not my fault. I blame my mom. Like my sister and me, she stayed up well past midnight, needing to force herself to sleep around 2:00 a.m. That doesn’t leave a whole lot of time for a visit from the Sandman, does it? Continue reading →

Our New But Used Catmobile

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A couple weeks ago, the KIA SUV we use in our nonprofit went to that big multi-level parking garage in heaven when it literally blew a gasket. Yep, it became a worthless hunk of metal after lasting us a mere 60,000 miles. Barely time to get acquainted. I ask you, was that meager performance worthy of a place in heaven?

Anyway, being without a vehicle to carry the ferals, traps, shelters,and re-homing equipment made me feel like a fish out of water, to sneak in a metaphor. Sadly, I’m not original enough to make up one of my own but I’ll try: It made me feel like pasta without sauce.

So the hunt was on. And fast. The phone seemed to ring continually with people needing help. One wanted feral mousers ASAP. One needed a shelter, another a trap to help an injured cat. The pressure was mounting. So I spent hours on the internet searching for a used SUV with low miles and the potential to last 200,000 more.

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You’re a Stinker

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Years ago I read that during the filming of Gone with the Wind, Vivien Leigh was quoted saying Clark Gable had atrociously bad breath, making intimate scenes with him extremely unpleasant. To this day I can’t watch a Clark Gable movie without thinking about that and wondering if his female costars held their breath in his presence. His response? “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Just a guess…

Looks to me like she's holding her breath, don't you think?

Yep, definitely holding her breath

Movie stars have a certain image they portray on screen and it sometimes crosses over into real life. Many are glamorized and idolized — all those words ending with “ized.” But the truth often contradicts our impression of them, don’t you think?

Now don’t get me wrong; we all know the persona is an illusion the movie industry created. Still, nobody wants to hear the awful truth, like Bradley Cooper stinks. Yep, you read that right. He’s a…stinker

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Here We Go Again

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As it turns out, I’m pretty awful at misplacing car keys. As a matter of fact, I lost one of my KIA SUV keys a while back, leaving me with just one precious key. The thing is, I know that lost key is somewhere in my house because I drove home the day I lost it. No doubt I’ll find it months from now when looking for a platter. And there it will be, resting on a shelf right in plain sight.

Jack helping me look

So anyway, I should tell you my SUV has a habit of locking when the doors close. Now don’t get me wrong; I’ve tried programming it not to do that but I’m technologically challenged and too lazy to actually read the manual. This is not good since my personal habit is to leave my keys in the car and close the door. Hence, I always use my 3 free roadside service visits from AAA.

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Road Trip

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I went on a 3-hour, 80 mile ride Thursday with Mario. Unless you count the hour we got lost. Then it’s more like 4-hours and 100 miles. Now don’t get me wrong; before you get all excited thinking I have a boyfriend, Mario is my scooter (as you may know if you read my blog, Just Gotta Scoot).

Mario

Mario

Mario and I took the back road trip from my home in San Rafael to the scooter shop for a tune-up in Santa Rosa. Turns out I learned a few things since our last extended journey. (There goes that live and learn lesson again.) Anyway, I thought I’d share my findings in case you also one day find yourself riding on the same gorgeous back roads through beautiful Marin and Sonoma Counties, which I also blogged about in My Slice of Paradise. (Yes, I’m shamelessly self-promoting.)

Pt. Reyes/Petaluma Road

Pt. Reyes/Petaluma Road

Anyway, here’s what you should know: Continue reading →