Gaining on the Golden Years

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Busy, busy, oh so busy…therefore please enjoy this post from 2013 and I’ll be back next week…

Last year, after my 56th birthday, I began to understand what the phrase, “feeling your age,” actually entails. What caught me by surprise, however, is how it looks.

Evidently, my  appearance has betrayed me. Strangers no longer refer to me as “miss.” At some point, I stepped over that invisible threshold into a new reality. I am now known as “ma’am.”

me leaning on pole

Apparently this is how “ma’am” looks

Aging is sly the way it sneaks up on you. There are no bulletins to announce its arrival. It suddenly appears when you aren’t paying attention. Looking in the mirror one day, you wonder whose face is staring back. Personally, I never saw it coming.  Continue reading →

Everybody Farts

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Now don’t go getting all embarrassed or mortified. It’s a perfectly natural human action. In fact, if you didn’t fart, you’d probably blow up like the Hindenburg. Full of gas, it burst into flames and plummeted to the ground. You not farting would be something along those lines.

Hindenburg

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you’d become flammable, but it’s not far from the truth. Actually, there are some surprising facts about flatulence that perhaps you didn’t know. Here are six…

Fact 1 — You can light a fart on fire.

At my bachelorette party weekend in the summer of 1982, my girlfriends and I went camping near Lake Tahoe. One night we had a few drinks around the bonfire and someone, probably Patty, mentioned that a person can light their farts. Patty always has the best ideas. At least we think so after we’ve consumed one too many Cosmo’s.

PattyP2

Patty 36 years later

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How I was Rescued by 7 Kittens

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Previously posted in 2015.

Kern kitten 1Kern kitten 2

So Wednesday morning I’m on the freeway bringing kittens to get spayed and neutered at a local veterinary clinic. Naturally, I’m late because the freeway is a parking lot. traffic jamIn the back of my SUV, 7 of the 11 kittens we rescued from Kern County are serenading me with a chorus of meows.

kern kitten 5kern kitten 3

What lucky kitties. Our feral cat rescue rarely deals with domestics but when we learned these were scheduled to be euthanized for lack of adopters, we decided to help. And that’s how I found myself on the freeway Wednesday morning. Continue reading →

Down for the Count

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I’d say 2018 is not off to a stupendous start. The good news is that it can only get better from here, right? That’s me attempting to be positive and look on the bright side. You see, my good friend found herself in the emergency room on New Year’s Day, one of my volunteers was admitted to the hospital for 2 days and then a friend was rear-ended on the freeway and the driver took off, leaving her with whiplash and a smashed car. Happy New Year?

Then I, who rarely get sick, started with a sore throat on the 4th. No big deal. But on the 5th, a headache came to the party, followed by Mr. Dizzy. On the 6th, by the time I got home late in the day, I wanted to sleep for a full week. Now don’t get me wrong. I didn’t actually do that. It was more like a solid 3 days.

under the weather

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Woman’s Best Friend

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Previously posted in 2013

I had a confetti-filled homecoming last night; my house was TP’ed with a mega roll of Charmin Ultra Soft toilet paper. I know this because I bought the paper myself. You see, the scene of the crime took place inside my home.

Upon walking through the door, I spotted the evidence strewn about like mounds of paper snow. I immediately suspected the culprit was my border collie mix, Callie. She’s a chewer and she bores easily – two rather unfortunate traits in a canine. Continue reading →