The Fix

I have to say I’m writing this sorely aware of pretty much every muscle in my body. I say sorely because I believe I feel pain in just about every fiber of all 640 muscles. Did you know we have that many? Me neither. I had to look it up. But my point is, I feel pain in all of them.

Let me explain…remember when I juiced for 10 days to help cleanse my system of the baked Cheetos and taffy I keep stashed in the console between the front seats of my SUV? You don’t?! Well then you need to read my post: Welcome To My Detox.

cheetos

Turns out I spend an inordinate amount of time in my vehicle traveling to trap feral cats for spay/neuter. A gal gets hungry you know. Nothing worse than trapping at Dillon Beach miles from a grocery store when a hankerin’ for cheese and crackers hits. So I keep a stash of edibles in my console. Sometimes they aren’t what one would call healthy snacks. Hence the cleanse. Continue reading

Living Life Lip-less

It wasn’t long ago that I recognized something about myself: I have no lips. That’s right, I’m lip-less. One would think I’d have noticed this a few years ago, but no. Apparently I don’t look in the mirror enough. In fact, I peek as little as possible.

me again 3

See what I mean?

That’s not to say I look hideous. I wouldn’t go THAT far. But when I do stop to look closely at myself, it’s sorta scary. Seems the older I get, the more my lips disappear, along with other pertinent stuff. Bette Davis had it right when she said, “Old age ain’t no place for sissies.”

bette davis

You tell ’em Bette

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Hitting 60

It’s official; I’m old. But that’s only according to AARP.

For those of you with no clue what AARP means, you’re obviously not one of “us.” You don’t yet have a bathroom drawer loaded with hair coloring and you’re able, or more importantly, willing, to look into a magnifying mirror without wanting to lose your lunch. So if you’re in that group, AARP means American Association of Retired Persons.aarp cardI’m now an official card carrying member of this club, one I never particularly yearned to be part of. But since hitting the big 6-0 Friday, I’m closing in on being at peace with what put me in this prestigious group; things like gray hair, wrinkles and occasional aches and pains.

The most important criteria for membership in AARP is simple: live long enough and they beg you to join. No tests are taken. You also don’t need a sponsor vouching that you aren’t a lunatic who will eat all the chocolate chip cookies at the meetings. Do they have meetings? I guess I’ll find out. If so, they better have cookies.chocolate chip cookies Continue reading

Aging: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

As one approaches the Big 6-0, one learns that aging has good, bad and ugly moments. For instance, you wake up one morning needing glasses. It happens just like that. Your hair changes color, and not in a good way. Bones soften, skin wrinkles. Some of us get shorter, if that’s even possible with me.

Now don’t get me wrong; I’d much rather wither with age like a dried fig than the alternative of being 6 feet under or in my case, scattered to the wind. That comes soon enough. Just remember, with the not-go-grand aspects of aging there are accompanying benefits – like people helping you lift heavy stuff into your car; not noticing dust balls in the corners of your living room because you can’t see them without glasses. And then there’s the adage, With Age Comes Wisdom. I’m still waiting for that to happen.

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Altered States

new and improved

New and Improved. That seems to be the trend these days concerning how we look. Nobody wants to look like themselves anymore, and no more so than in Tinseltown where performers are painfully scrutinized.

My guess is the majority of actors in Hollywood are in some sort of altered state. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying they’re on drugs. Although, if we’re being honest here, and I assume we are, I’ve no doubt the green leafy stuff and the white powdery substance is as common as having a plastic surgeon on speed-dial among those who entertain us. But that’s another story for a later blog…altered states

No, what I mean by an altered state is Botox, collagen injections, liposuction, face lifts…You see, in the entertainment industry, it’s taboo to look like yourself. I’m all for doing whatever toots your horn. But the degree to which some go is baffling to me. In pursuit of new and improved, they often become unrecognizable, maybe even to themselves.

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