Tag Archives: humor

Oh, To Be Talented

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This blog was originally posted in May, 2014

martha stewart
rachael ray

Sometimes I’m envious of people who excel in a particular area. That’s because I’m limited in the talent department. I can think of only 2 areas where I’m decent: I’m an okay writer and I can play tennis. That’s pretty much it. I love baking but I’m no Martha Stewart. I enjoy cooking but I’m no Rachael Ray. And no doubt I’d be the first to get booted from Dancing with the Stars and most definitely The Voice.

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Whirlpool Sucks. And Other Things I Learned this Week

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  • Never ride your scooter on the freeway in a tank top when you’re 62 years old. And when you have upper arms that, on a good day, flap around like fish out of water. Add whipping winds while you’re scooting at 50 mph and what you get is slapped silly by your own arms. I tell you, it’s not a pretty sight. Soon you’ll find yourself riding down the freeway with your arms pinned close to your sides so as not to cause a pile up when motorists look on in horror.

flappy arms

Okay, I changed my mind. Maybe my arms aren’t so bad after all

  • Do not attempt, on a Wednesday, to push your 153 lb. sister in a wheelchair DOWN Sacramento Street in San Francisco, especially after receiving the wrong directions to your destination. You will be on your heels the entire journey, mimicking one of those barefoot water skiers, in your attempt to prevent your sister from careening down a steep city street like Steve McQueen’s car in the movie, Bullitt. Now don’t get me wrong; what goes down must come up. All 153 lbs. UPHILL, in a wheelchair.

Bullit chase

Pretty much like this

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One of These Days

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When one has 5 cats, 4 dogs and an array of rotating foster kittens, one can expect constant activity, except maybe in the wee hours of the night. And sometimes not even then when one particular dog snores like an inebriated sailor cursed with sleep apnea.

Skip, my snorer, sleeping with Oliver

Now don’t get me wrong. Skip’s snoring is actually kind of endearing. But how such a small mutt creates so much noise is baffling. Being an insomniac with 2 functioning ears, I can attest he is loud.

That’s when I started thinking of how one of these days it might be nice to sleep 8 hours instead of my usual 5. And I thought, what would life be like without my animals? Well, the dam burst and within mere minutes these 17 thoughts poured out of me.

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That’s Just Jack

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Marley and Me

Spoiler Alert

I just watched the movie Marley and Me with my fat cat, Jack. Yes, Jack watches TV; he’s a very observant guy. But if you haven’t seen the movie, I’m about to ruin it for you so you should probably skip the next paragraph.

Marley and Me is a comedy about a dog but also a tearjerker because Marley dies, as dogs will do. I’d already seen the movie but I still cried like a baby. I’m talking crocodile tears that spilled from my eyes, missed my cheeks entirely, then landed on Jack, who lounged on my lap. Pathetic? Yeah, I’d say so.

Now that you virgins of Marley and Me are back with us, let’s continue.

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Grandma Petey Retires

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Here’s one of my oldest posts, originally written in 1998

Grandma Petey

My husband and I returned recently from a visit to Missouri. Five of Jim’s six siblings came from throughout the country to celebrate his grandmother’s retirement. At age 84, she’s anxious to pursue other interests.

Mary Peterson, (Petey to friends and family) spent the last 40 years as the hostess of the well-known Kansas City restaurant, The Hereford House. Can you imagine having one job since 1958 and never once being late or even missing work?  Me neither. Continue reading →