Everyone has something to say and they want people to know it. And that’s what cars are for. I’m talking about bumper stickers and those triangular yellow signs suction-cupped to car windows, specifically the ones that say Baby on Board. I hate those signs. Really now, people. What’s the purpose of those? I’d appreciate someone explaining them to me because I think they’re possibly the stupidest signs ever created in the history of signs. 

Perhaps you think I’m being harsh and maybe I am. But when I’m driving down the freeway and see that particular sign, I want to egg that car. (And I think there’s a good chance I’d hit my target, having been a softball shortstop for 10 years.) Then I’d watch with a smile on my face as the gelatinous slime rolls down the window, disappearing into those hard-to-reach crevices. And I’d hardly feel guilty at all.

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