A Felon with a Pretty Face

 

Jeremy Meeks.

Jeremy Meeks

Unabomber, Ted Kazinski

Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski

If you don’t recognize that name or face, you don’t own a TV, read the newspaper, have a computer or listen to the radio. That means you’re most likely a hermit living in a cabin in the mountains of Minnesota. Does Minnesota have mountains?  If so, that’s probably where you’re living – sort of like the Unabomber except with essentials: an espresso machine, See’s milk chocolate chews and Crest Extra Whitening Toothpaste. After all, you’re not a barbarian, just uninformed. Now back to Jeremy…

For those cabin-dwellers who don’t know, Jeremy is also known as the sexy felon after his mug shot was posted by the Stockton police. Thirty-year-old Jeremy earned the moniker from being the proud recipient of a felony weapons charge, gun and gang-related charges and for violating his parole.

No folks, Jeremy is no Pat Boone. (Am I dating myself?) But does that matter to thousands of women who’d love nothing more than to be his cellmate? Judging by the 100,000 “likes” he received on his Facebook page, I’d say the answer is a resounding no.

Pat Boone AKA Mr. Nice Guy

Pat Boone
” Mr. Nice Guy”

You see, Mr. Meeks is a hot commodity simply because he’s considered handsome. A felon with a pretty face. Yep, you read that correctly. The new Pretty Boy Floyd. Perhaps there’s a shortage of good looking criminals because the reaction to this guy is baffling to me. Pretty Boy FloydNo, Jeremy isn’t difficult to look at with deep blue eyes, full lips and a chiseled jaw. But now he’s garnering the type of attention reserved for celebrities. I suppose when you think about it, he’s sort of a male version of the Kardashians…pretty, but why are they famous? The KardashiansAnyway, I thought about including Jeremy in my monthly, Things I Find Ridiculous blog but this level of ridiculousness deserves more than 50 words. Since his mug shot went viral, Jeremy’s now more well-known than most actors and models who work for years to be “discovered.”

I bet right about now they’re regretting not having considered breaking and entering, so their equally hot mug shots could be coveted by thousands of women. And perhaps one or two talent agents.

a stepping stone to fame

A stepping stone to instant fame (but only if you get caught and you’re handsome)

Now don’t get me wrong. Jeremy isn’t exactly sitting pretty. He’s still in custody with bail set at over a million dollars. But don’t feel sorry for this criminal with looks straight out of central casting:

* His mom has started an online fundraising site to pay for his defense. She’s collected $5000 to date.
* Jeremy was offered a $30,000 modeling job and a $100,000 porn contract.
* He signed with a Hollywood agent (what a surprise).
* He’s being considered for reality TV. Can you imagine that? (And yes, that sentence deserved 2 question marks.)Jeremy Meeks modelingSo now PBJ (Pretty Boy Jeremy) has a bright future. I’m not begrudging the guy that, only how it was achieved. I didn’t hear anything about his 3 accomplices being offered their own TV show. And you know why? They’re not as attractive. Harsh, I know, but the brutal truth. Our society admires beauty, even beautiful criminals.In the past, Jeremy has spent years in prison for forgery, grand theft and identity theft. But I’d never heard of him. Had you? Maybe he took a bad mug shot for those particular crimes. If only the lighting had been better…

Anyway, when the hot felon gets out of prison, we’ll see if he has the same offers. My advice: keep away from simple carbohydrates. They’ll put the pounds on ya quicker than you can snatch a widow’s wedding ring from her bedside table. And don’t be tempted to buy the Top Ramen from the prison commissary just because it’s cheap and filling. You might get pudgy and ruin that modeling career waiting for you in 2 to 5 years. Maybe sooner with good behavior. Top RamenOh, I forgot to mention, Jeremy was also offered free laser tattoo removal for his Crip tattoo, his neck tattoos, and the teardrop stenciled under his left eye. That way he’ll better fit the Abercrombie and Fitch image when he’s modeling their clothing. I say he keep the teardrop since he’ll be crying all the way to the bank.Yes ladies, get in line to date Jeremy. He certainly has a bright future, thanks to those baby blues and pearly whites. Never mind he’s a gang member and habitual thief. He’s easy on the eyes. That’s all that matters, right? So go ahead and let him steal your heart.

Just be careful he doesn’t swipe your Laptop while he’s at it.

Not a bad idea when Jeremy's around

Not a bad idea when Jeremy’s around

6 thoughts on “A Felon with a Pretty Face

  1. Hi Janet,

    I’m a little confused. Are you unhappy that he’s received so much attention from his mug shot, or are you poking fun at it? Personally, the Jeremy Meeks story has done nothing but amuse me from the first time I read about it. I think it’s knee slapping hilarious that he’s garnered so much attention from his mug shot & dreamy good looks, and can only hope that he seizes this opportunity to turn his life around. Who knows? Maybe he can become a future Christian Grey or something. Dark, mysterious and little scary, but some angelic woman can help him see the light? Isn’t that what all successful romantic stories are about? 🙂 Even Pride and Prejudice has elements of that, but maybe not quite as dark.

    Tammy

    • No, I think it’s crazy he’s received so much attention all because of his looks, so this blog was definitely poking fun at that….

      • Oh, okay. I’m glad you find the story entertaining too. I’ve seen a lot of anger and vitriol (perhaps from trolls) on the internet about him, and all of the attention that he’s gotten based on his good looks. I don’t see why anyone should feel angry or hateful about it. Unless they are jealous?? It’s seems very silly to me to be angry at someone who they are calling “Dreamy McMug.” LOL! Still cracks me up.

  2. Really I think it is just desperate females who have gotten to the point that they would be reduced to admiring criminals because they have run out of other options. Good men do not want them so they will try for a criminal. Really who could blame the men for turning a blind eye to these women leaving them with little to no other options. It seems as though vanity is the primary reason behind PBJ’s interest from these women. I guess handsome is in the eye of the beholder because as a woman I do not see a good looking guy in this man at all. I look at him and get a bad vibe of trouble.

  3. Pingback: A Year in the Life of a Blogger | Now Don't Get Me Wrong

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