New and Improved. That seems to be the trend these days concerning how we look. Nobody wants to look like themselves anymore, and no more so than in Tinseltown where performers are painfully scrutinized.

My guess is the majority of actors in Hollywood are in some sort of altered state. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying they’re on drugs. Although, if we’re being honest here, and I assume we are, I’ve no doubt the green leafy stuff and the white powdery substance is as common as having a plastic surgeon on speed-dial among those who entertain us. But that’s another story for a later blog…

No, what I mean by an altered state is Botox, collagen injections, liposuction, face lifts…You see, in the entertainment industry, it’s taboo to look like yourself. I’m all for doing whatever toots your horn. But the degree to which some go is baffling to me. In pursuit of new and improved, they often become unrecognizable, maybe even to themselves.

You may have noticed many actors who are in an altered state don’t want to admit it. Pleezeee! Are we that unobservant that we don’t notice Meg Ryan had perfectly nice lips her entire life until one day she didn’t? Apparently she got accosted in a back alley but the brut only went after her lips. I think she went into hiding after that because she wasn’t seen much anymore. Or was she? How would we know?

Hey, isn’t that Meg Ryan over there?
I’m not sure. Sorta looks like her.
Well, she has her eyes and nose but the lips are all wrong.
Yeah, you’re right. Meg is much prettier.

I have thin lips too and would have preferred they resemble Angelina Jolie’s. Well, actually, that’s going a little too far…But anyway, these are the lips I was dealt and they’re the ones I’ll live with. If I altered them, who would I look like? As I always say, the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t. And besides, I’m chicken.

Whenever I see a photo of Kenny Rogers, I wonder if he’s happy with his appearance. I don’t see how he could be. He doesn’t look one iota like his old self. But maybe that was his intent. Regardless, he now goes through life with people thinking, Who is that guy? He sings like Kenny Rogers.

And what about Mickey Rourke? He’s downright painful to look at, don’t you think? Were his nips and tucks an attempt to reclaim his youth? I’d say he didn’t succeed. I imagine fans once stared at him with admiration for his acting talent. Now they stare from bewilderment.

So many have gone under the knife to emerge as strangers: Burt Reynolds, the late Joan Rivers, Cher, Eddie Fisher, Bruce Jenner…Then there’s Renee Zellweger. Here she is in the first addition:

And here she is now — a pretty lady not even her agent would recognize if she spilled coffee on him at Starbucks.

Again, if that was the point, good for her. But isn’t an actor’s face his or her calling card? Now when we see Renee in a movie we’ll wonder who’s calling. It’s the new and improved Renee! (Improved is a matter of opinion, however.) Her eyelid lift altered her looks as drastically as Jennifer Grey’s nose job changed hers.

As for Renee, she won’t admit she had anything done, as happens with many who are sliced, diced, pulled and tucked. Here’s what she said: “I’m glad folks think I look different. I’m living a different, happy, more fulfilling life and I’m thrilled that perhaps it shows.”

Again, pleezeee! Don’t pretend your happy life miraculously gave you a different, prettier face. If that were the case, I’d look like Sophia Vergara.

I say own up to it, Renee, so reporters will quit following you, constantly hounding you about it.

But to be honest, if you’re not being followed it’s probably because you’re now unrecognizable.