I have to say I’m writing this sorely aware of pretty much every muscle in my body. I say sorely because I believe I feel pain in just about every fiber of all 640 muscles. Did you know we have that many? Me neither. I had to look it up. But my point is, I feel pain in all of them.

Let me explain…remember when I juiced for 10 days to help cleanse my system of the baked Cheetos and taffy I keep stashed in the console between the front seats of my SUV? You don’t?! Well then you need to read my post: Welcome To My Detox.

Turns out I spend an inordinate amount of time in my vehicle traveling to trap feral cats for spay/neuter. A gal gets hungry you know. Nothing worse than trapping at Dillon Beach miles from a grocery store when a hankerin’ for cheese and crackers hits. So I keep a stash of edibles in my console. Sometimes they aren’t what one would call healthy snacks. Hence the cleanse.

Not a store in sight

Now don’t get me wrong. I enjoy my taffy but if you peeked in my fridge at this moment, you’d see mainly fruits and veggies…lots of good stuff from the food pyramid and not much naughty stuff. That brings me to why my muscles are sore.

I realize at age 61 it’s not enough to just be mindful of what I put in my mouth. I also have to work harder to keep the few muscles I have left. I enjoy moving my body but I also relish a plate of pasta probably more than I should. And therein lies the issue; as we age our muscles tend to go AWOL unless we work our butts off to keep them. Use it or lose it, right?

I happen to have plans that include being mobile well into my 90s. And why not? Traveling is in my future. Maybe I’ll do another sprint triathlon. I also want to ride my bike 100 miles because I’ve capped at 72. Then there’s my passion, tennis.

I know people who still play doubles in their 80s. I want that to be me. I might be toothless and wrinkled as used crepe paper, but as long as I’m mobile I’ll die happy. And hopefully it will be on the tennis court.

In my youth I remember older people saying, “When you have your health, you have everything.” I would roll my eyes and think yeah, yeah, I know. But I really didn’t. What does a healthy 25-year-old know about atrophy and bone loss?

So to cut to the chase, I’m now on an exercise cleanse of sorts. Me and my cleanses, right? I’ve been working out to some DVDs: Brazilian Butt Lift (which, ironically, put me out of action for a week with a pulled butt muscle); The PiYo Workout; and my favorite, 21-day Fix.

Today I am on day 16 of The Fix. So apparently I’m 5 days away from being fixed. I do a half hour routine each day that leaves me drenched in sweat and discovering muscles I haven’t felt in ages. Well hello there. Welcome back. Nice to see you again.

My 61-year-old body feels exhausted and exhilarated at the same time. At this moment, however, I’m leaning more toward exhausted. In fact, if I can just crawl to the bathroom, my Jacuzzi beckons. I hear it whispering, Come hither Janet and soak in my warmth. Let my jets massage your aching muscles.

Now if you will excuse me, I’m off to the bathroom…just as soon as I get the strength to get out of my chair.

I’m coming…hold your jets!