So my friend Annette and I decided to take our mutts to the beach for a day of frolicking in the sand, surf and sun. I only took 2 of my 4 monsters because Nellie’s old and might not make it out of the car before needing a nap and Callie is fear aggressive, an affliction which doesn’t translate well around people. Or other dogs. Or pretty much anything that moves. So Skip, Wally and I joined Annette and her perfectly behaved German Shepard, Tess.

Let me just say there must be something wrong with me because my mutts have issues. I prefer to think they’re just flawed little creatures who zeroed in on my inclination for adopting not-so-perfect beings. Either that or I’m a crappy guardian.

Nellie, however, is nearly perfect. Emphasis on nearly. She does have a tendency to use table corners as appetizers so that’s a check in the flawed box. Good luck finding a piece of wooden furniture in my home lacking her teeth impressions.

Nellie’s favorite pastime

Callie can never be off leash since I don’t trust her not to snap at someone before she decides she actually loves them. She’s my Jekyll and Hyde dog.

You talkin’ bout me?

Skip still refuses to use the dog door so I’m at his beck and call letting him in and out each and every day. Many times a day. But he gets away with it because he’s cute.

See what I mean?

Then there’s Wally.

My newest addition still has trouble distinguishing a wool area rug from a patch of grass on which to pee. I bragged like a proud mama when he went 2 weeks without an accident. And then it rained. When his toes touched wet pavement, he abruptly halted. Forget that it wasn’t raining anymore. No amount of coaxing was successful so I carried him outside. He still refused to pee. Gonna be a fun winter…

Anyway, back to the beach. Did I mention Wally gets anxious in vehicles? Now don’t get me wrong; it’s not like he whines or barks. He just drools uncontrollably, followed by vomiting. But once I cleaned him up, he was rarin’ to go.

Moments after entering the car

Skip stuck to me like a kindergartner on his first day of school. But Wally and Tess ran with wild abandon, chasing each other, wrestling in the sand and visiting with every other dog on the beach. Evidently Wally felt no repercussions from the car ride.

beach frolickers

For the first time (and the last) Wally put his toes in the ocean, met a live crab and never once listened to me when I called him. What else is new? Tess on the other hand, has had training so she actually obeys Annette’s commands. Wally didn’t even bother to shoot me a disdainful glance as he bounded off after a pair of Labradors. That’s my boy…

After our day at the beach we stopped for coffee on the way home and enjoyed it outside the cafe as the dogs rested at our feet. At one point a man walked by and, not paying attention, almost stepped on Wally, who then attempted to nip him. That’s it. Time to get my little monster into puppy training.

To clarify…yes, I’m perfectly aware I’m the one who needs training. And should I pass the course, I look forward to these four simple things:

• A dog that doesn’t eat furniture
• A dog that actually uses his dog door
• A dog that is no longer afraid of her own shadow
• A puppy that doesn’t fear rain or nip at people, comes when I call and pees outside

Let’s just say I’m not holding my breath.

After the beach bath

The ‘don’t you ever do that to me again’ stare