Category Archives: Humor

Getting Lost

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Remember way back before apps like Waze came along to get us where we’re going? Sadly, I do. Here’s a post from March, 2015 that makes me happy I no longer rely on Stella, my old GPS..compassI have absolutely no sense of direction. Consequently I’m always lost. That’s unless I’m armed with a device that talks to me and leads the way. In fact, I’m not even sure how I got anywhere until good old GPS came along. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m being serious.

Back in the day, before MapQuest and various technological inventions navigated for us, we relied on paper maps and verbal directions. It was hell. But getting around now is much simpler. Having a sucky sense of direction should no longer be a handicap, right? One would think. But my GPS (Stella) just happens to be directionally challenged.

Stella

Sometimes I’ll test Stella even when I know where I’m going. I’ll enter the address, hit the gas and see what transpires. Invariably, she takes the longest route. Sometimes I think she’s high or maybe in the throes of dementia. Simply put, much of the time Stella has absolutely no idea where she’s going. So that makes two of us. Continue reading →

Don’t Leave Home Without It

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I can’t believe I’m old enough to say this but back in the day I didn’t have a cell phone in my purse whenever I left the house. That’s because they weren’t invented yet. Unlike today, I was able to function just fine without staying connected every second of every day to every human being I know. If I needed to talk to someone I waited until I got home to dial them from our rotary phone.

beige phone 2

Yep, my family had a dial-up phone ages ago. Now don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t around in the day of switchboards like on the Andy Griffith Show where Andy has to ask switchboard operator, Sarah, to ring Aunt Bee for him. Please, I’m not THAT old!

andy griffith

Anyway, our phone was beige with a long coiled cord that stretched from the kitchen nook into the dining room where we sat and gabbed. But for many years prior, the cord was only 2 feet long so we had to stand to talk. This was also the day of party lines. Know about those?

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The Meaning of Essentially

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I’m not a very sedentary person. Sitting still is not my strong suit. If I’m sitting down I’m usually tapping my foot. In bed, I rock my feet back and forth before going to sleep. I’m normally not aware I’m doing it until one of my cats, usually Skye, pounces and bites through the bedspread, latching on to my toes.

But a couple months ago I found myself more fatigued than usual. I knew something was amiss while playing tennis when my energy level plummeted and I became winded playing doubles. Nobody gets winded in doubles. Plus I was short of breath just walking upstairs.

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Gone Girl

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By now you all know I have another cat, Piper. She’s been proving to be quite the character. Already a foodie, she often pushes herself past the other cats, each waiting at their respective bowls for yours truly to fill them. Sadly, patience is not Piper’s strong suit.

Having yet to figure out which bowl is hers, or that I feed the cats in order of seniority, Piper is last to eat and is none too happy about it. Old man Oliver goes first but she dives her head into his bowl, promptly receiving a swat that says, “Don’t even think about it.”

Piper then moves on to Fat Jack who in no way looks like a cat who wants to share. Dash could care less and lets her eat but I inevitably place her at her own bowl.

Only Mango preferred not to be photographed

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An Unusual Gift

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I received the most unusual and unexpected gift last week from someone I’ve never met. She knows me from the work I do with feral cats and is a friend of a friend. So why did she give me a gift? Be patient, I’m getting there…

HoldYourHorses-1

Hold your horses

In this line of work, meaning TNR (Trap-Neuter-Return), I meet some interesting folks. Let’s just say not all of them particularly like cats. Some downright hate ’em. But then not everyone is perfect, right? Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying if you don’t like cats you’re a sociopath. But my guess is you’re probably close.

Anyway, my friend was telling this gift-giving person about my encounters with these as yet undiagnosed sociopaths. They’re the characters who not only make this work interesting, unpredictable, and a little bit scary, but have taught me I should learn self defense. Like yesterday already. I’ve intended to take classes for about 10 years now but have I done it? Intended is the operative word there.

self defense2

Take THAT you cat hater

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