Now don’t go getting all embarrassed or mortified. It’s a perfectly natural human action. In fact, if you didn’t fart, you’d probably blow up like the Hindenburg. Full of gas, it burst into flames and plummeted to the ground. You not farting would be something along those lines.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you’d become flammable, but it’s not far from the truth. Actually, there are some surprising facts about flatulence that perhaps you didn’t know. Here are six…
Fact 1 — You can light a fart on fire.
At my bachelorette party weekend in the summer of 1982, my girlfriends and I went camping near Lake Tahoe. One night we had a few drinks around the bonfire and someone, probably Patty, mentioned that a person can light their farts. Patty always has the best ideas. At least we think so after we’ve consumed one too many Cosmo’s.
Patty 36 years later
So it’s bye-bye time to 2017. As for me, I’ll be saying it from my family room sofa, warm from a blazing fire. Maybe I’ll watch a movie or read a book while being amused as 4 of my pets jockey for position on my lap. One of those will include my enormous greyhound, so this should be interesting.
Being on the road after the clock strikes midnight is like playing Russian roulette. It’s a rare bird cruising along at 65 mph who hasn’t had one too many vodka martini’s (with 2 olives on the side, please). Oh wait, that’s me. My drink, I mean…I don’t do the cruising afterward though and therein lies the difference.
Now Don't Get Me Wrong 