Category Archives: Humor

Partners in Crime

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Thanksgiving began with a phone call to my friend Sue.

Me: Just a heads up I may need you later today, so keep your phone nearby.
Sue: What’s up?
Me: You’re my one phone call I’m allowed from jail. Oh, and don’t forget to remove the turkey from your oven before coming to bail me out.
Sue: Okay, will do.

You may be able to deduce from this conversation that Sue knows me well enough to realize one of these days I’ll be arrested for helping animals, probably cats, and if that means doing something illegal in the process, so be it.

Careful of the nail polish, please.

Careful of the nail polish, please.

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Altered States

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new and improved

New and Improved. That seems to be the trend these days concerning how we look. Nobody wants to look like themselves anymore, and no more so than in Tinseltown where performers are painfully scrutinized.

My guess is the majority of actors in Hollywood are in some sort of altered state. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying they’re on drugs. Although, if we’re being honest here, and I assume we are, I’ve no doubt the green leafy stuff and the white powdery substance is as common as having a plastic surgeon on speed-dial among those who entertain us. But that’s another story for a later blog…altered states

No, what I mean by an altered state is Botox, collagen injections, liposuction, face lifts…You see, in the entertainment industry, it’s taboo to look like yourself. I’m all for doing whatever toots your horn. But the degree to which some go is baffling to me. In pursuit of new and improved, they often become unrecognizable, maybe even to themselves.

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Itsy Bitsy Spider

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itsy bitsy spiderI read something extremely disturbing this week. No, it wasn’t about ISIS or Syria, although it doesn’t get much worse than that. But that’s not the kind of disturbing I’m talking about. I suppose this particular topic is more repugnant than tragic. And here’s why…

A spider took up residence in a woman’s ear canal. I’ll give you a minute to absorb that. Feel free to step away from the computer if you’d like to get up and shudder away the grossness. Go ahead, I’ll wait.spider

Better now? I know how you feel because I had the same reaction. Can you even imagine such a thing? I would guess fear of spiders is one of the top 5 phobias that provoke the heebie-jeebies in people. And news like this isn’t going to help one bit. Continue reading →

Life with Little Fur Balls

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Undeniably adorable

Undeniably adorable

For the past 3 weeks I’ve been fostering 2 active kittens until their ringworm disappears. And now I remember why I don’t have kittens. Now don’t get me wrong; I love the little fur balls. They’re undeniably adorable, right? But they’re kittens. And I’d say the operative word in my first sentence is ACTIVE.luck of the drawI don’t know if it’s luck of the draw or what, but of all the kittens I’ve fostered thus far, and these 2 make 84, none of them were quite as rambunctious as the duo I’m currently housing. Of course, most of my fosters are feral so their primary goal in life is to avoid me if at all possible. Domestics, like Mindy and Beau, are a whole other ball game. Continue reading →

Baby on Board. So What?

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Everyone has something to say and they want people to know it. And that’s what cars are for. I’m talking about bumper stickers and those triangular yellow signs suction-cupped to car windows, specifically the ones that say Baby on Board. I hate those signs. Really now, people. What’s the purpose of those? I’d appreciate someone explaining them to me because I think they’re possibly the stupidest signs ever created in the history of signs. 

Perhaps you think I’m being harsh and maybe I am. But when I’m driving down the freeway and see that particular sign, I want to egg that car. (And I think there’s a good chance I’d hit my target, having been a softball shortstop for 10 years.) Then I’d watch with a smile on my face as the gelatinous slime rolls down the window, disappearing into those hard-to-reach crevices. And I’d hardly feel guilty at all.egged car

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