My name is Janet and I am addicted to sugar.
Now, that’s not to say I stash Almond Joy’s in secret places, like in back of the freezer inside a box of Garden Burgers or in my office cabinet filed under “Household Repairs.” Continue reading
Apparently I’m a Genius
Well it’s official. I can finally divulge what I really am. No, I’m not a man in a woman’s body. But nice try. And I’m not in the Witness Protection Program, hoping that my former life and real name, Shannon Miller, is all in the past. Wouldn’t that be something though? If so, I’d now be back in hiding, having just blown my cover.
So no, my news isn’t quite that exciting. But here it is:
Last week I learned I’m a genius.
I know…it came as a surprise to me as well. Those who know me can attest that I’m not the brainy type. I’m more the flighty and absentminded type. In high school I was more interested in being with friends and playing sports. I honestly don’t remember studying much. Did I do it at the kitchen table? In my bedroom? Could it be I don’t remember because I rarely studied? That would be my guess.
Doesn’t look familiar
In college, I received my bachelor’s degree with a 3.2 GPA, which is basically a B. Not bad, but definitely not genius. Especially since I wasn’t particularly enthralled with my major, Social Work. I ask you, how can an 18-year-old be expected to know what she wants to do for the rest of her life?
Be Careful What You Wish For
It appears nothing interesting happened this week so I posted this blog from 2018 out of desperation…
I’m driving along, again wondering what I should blog about this week. What can I write that you might want to read? So I thought, I wish something interesting would happen so I don’t resort to posting a previous blog out of desperation. Word of advice:
Recently I’ve undergone some procedures: a bone scan for oldies like me, a pap smear, mammogram…all the fun stuff. So I’m getting my pap when the doctor says, “I see you have osteoporosis.” What? Appears my bone scan showed I’d graduated from soft bones to full-fledged-about-to-crumble-bones.
Oh the joys of being short, small-boned and Caucasian (risk factors for osteoporosis).
Then the next day I had a mammogram even though, as I’m pushing 63, they suggest doing it every 2-3 years. They can suggest all they want; I get one every year.
The Perks of Aging (Yes, There Are Some)
There’s something to be said about crossing over from being a ‘miss’ to becoming a ‘ma’am’. As it turns out, that little ditty happened to me many moons ago and let me tell ya, it was a shocker when I heard it.
It happened in a grocery store when the clerk asked me,”ma’am, would you prefer paper or plastic bags?” I was around 40 years old and totally speechless for a moment, realizing he was talking to ME. I quickly regrouped from the shock and said, “Paper please,” and drove home in a daze.
Getting long in the tooth, as they used to say, happens to the best of us and thank goodness it does. I mean, I’m in no hurry for the alternative. Now don’t get me wrong; it’s not all bad getting old. As it turns out, there are a few nice perks to aging, hard as that seems.
If I Had Known Then What I Know Now…
Isn’t it interesting what time teaches us?
But I guess that’s the point. We aren’t supposed to know everything when we’re pimply faced youngsters. Unless we’re Steve Jobs. Alas, I was nowhere near that brainy when I started on my life’s path. Nor am I now.
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Now Don't Get Me Wrong 