Okay, so here’s the thing.
I don’t consider myself to be an idiot (AKA a nincompoop, ignoramus, halfwit) even though at times I do idiotic things. I could easily fill this blog with some questionable choices I’ve made and maybe I will when I’m drawing a blank one day, hours before my Sunday posting is due. But as you know, my brain goes on strike with anything involving technology. Even at the mention of, say, a router, and my eyes lose focus. Happens every time.
So you may understand when I tell you I was recently the recipient of an attempted scam, while innocently checking my computer emails. Yes, I, who always wonder how people can fall for emails saying they have 10 million dollars waiting for them in a bank in Nigeria, got hoodwinked.
I hear the elderly fall for this type of scam, called phishing, fairly often. So I guess I’m old. But to my credit, my brain came out of its fog and screamed at me, What the hell are you doing, Janet?! Have you lost your mind? And I’m sure this is exactly what my friend Hilary will say after reading this. She’s a tech nerd, after all.
After my morning shower Thursday, I grabbed the hamper and headed downstairs to do a load of wash. Nothing exciting there, right? But that would soon change.
While making my morning latte, I decided to check my email but I couldn’t find my iPhone. Then I remembered where it was when I saw it last. And then, seconds later, I knew where I’d find it now.
Before I’d headed downstairs, I’d placed my cell phone on top of the towels in the hamper in order to carry everything at once. My phone cover happens to be a beige cat that blended perfectly with the beige towel at the top of the hamper.
My home is possessed.
Now don’t get me wrong; I haven’t witnessed a shimmering white image at the foot of my bed in the wee hours of the night. You know I rarely sleep anymore so I’m often awake during prime ghost hours (presumably 2-3 a.m.). Anyway, what self-respecting spirit manifests himself when his intended target is wide awake? Sorta takes the excitement away from scaring me out of a deep slumber, wouldn’t you say?
I’ve named my homebound spirit Winston and I’d love to meet him, if not to simply wring his neck. I imagine, though, it might be difficult to strangle a vaporous white cloud. Still, I’d like to try. The fact is, my annoying heavenly spirit has attempted to get my attention for quite a while before finally succeeding. Well done, Winston.
Turns out my earthly ghost messes with most of my techie gadgets, like Direct TV, computer, cell phone, GPS, portable speakerphone, even my Fitbit. You name it, if it’s electronic, he bewitches it just for yours truly. And to him I say:
I’m what you’d call technologically challenged. If my computer, cell phone or TV goes on the blink, I stare at it with tilted head, open mouth and squinted eyes. I do this out of utter exasperation because in that moment, I have absolutely no clue what to do. None whatsoever. Continue reading