I rarely pass up the opportunity to gripe about companies that irritate me when I already deal with enough irritations on a daily basis. For instance, take my cat, Skye, who vomited her entire meal onto the kitchen nook seating; she couldn’t do it on the kitchen tile like a considerate cat would, but apparently that never crossed her mind.

Anyway, to begin my griping, I’ve had DirecTV for over 30 years. I’m too lazy to leave my desk to confirm that number, but it’s been mucho years. During those mucho years, I’ve only called DirecTV a handful of times. In other words, I’d say I’m an ideal customer.