Technology: Or How To Feel Like an Idiot

I’m what you’d call technologically challenged. If my computer, cell phone or TV goes on the blink, I stare at it with tilted head, open mouth and squinted eyes. I do this out of utter exasperation because in that moment, I have absolutely no clue what to do. None whatsoever.As much as I appreciate useful teckie items in my life, they also frustrate me on a regular basis. If you read my blog, Comcast – A Love-Hate Relationship, you’ll get the gist of why computer ailments drive me batty. Since that whole email fiasco, I’ve switched to Yahoo. But that hasn’t been without its glitches either.For instance, yesterday I checked for emails on my iPhone and there were none! That’s impossible. I ALWAYS have business and personal emails. So what happened? Where did those messages go and why? Did they have somewhere better to be? Can someone please explain this to me?!Actually, there is someone. Kellan is my computer guru and Jack of pretty much any trade. He’s my go-to guy when I want to throw my computer from my office window onto the hedge framing my walkway. I’m really mad when I’m willing to destroy my beloved hedge that’s taken years to mature (sort of like me).Kellan helped set up this blog and my business website. He also had me get a wireless router so I can stream to my TV, whatever that means. I haven’t actually done it yet, but that’s not the point. I’m all set to go once I figure out what it is and why I can’t live without it.

How streaming works. WHAT?!

Streaming, made simple…WHAT?!

I’m ashamed to admit my Smart TV is so much smarter than me. It’s loaded with seemingly endless apps, most unrecognizable to yours truly.  Do people really use all those or am I the only one living in the dark ages?I admit I’m old-fashioned where technology is concerned. Hey, I’m 58; we didn’t have computers when I was a kid. We had a beige telephone with an extremely long, twisty cord, allowing us to pace while talking. That was our high-tech way of communicating. But no matter how long that cord, I always walked too far, pulling the phone off the counter onto the orange shag carpet. That stupid cord constantly got tangled into a clumpy mess that resembled twisted Yo-Yo string.yo yoBack then we had typewriters for our formal, written communications. I learned to type in high school. Our teacher, Mr. Harris, would sneak into the bathroom during class and take a swig of bourbon when he thought we were deep in concentration. Seems I wasn’t. But that’s fodder for another blog…typewriterwite outAnyway, we didn’t even have Wite-Out (liquid correction fluid). Instead, we used white chalky paper placed under the typewriter keys, one ridiculous key at a time. It was pure torture. Seemed the more careful I was, the more mistakes I made.

A school assignment that today would take 30 minutes to write on a computer took 2 hours: 1 hour of actual typing, another making corrections. My finished paper always had so many crooked, re-typed letters, it resembled a ransom note.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying it was worse back then – or better. It was simply our reality. Ignorance is bliss, right? So we trudged along, not realizing that one day the headache of experiencing chalky correction paper would be a distant memory.

The infamous correction paper

The infamous correction paper

I’d say that since I was a kid, hundreds of technological inventions have definitely made life easier, but not necessarily better. Yes, it was a simpler time back then but whether that’s a good thing depends on how you look at it.When I was in high school, we didn’t have texting, twitter or cell phones. Facetime and Skyping were decades away. No, my girlfriends and I actually got together during the day and talked face to face. Unbelievable, huh?

Late at night our gab-fests extended to whomever I could reach from our house phone. Unless, of course, I received that dreaded busy signal.

Yes, my friends, those were the days. Back when social media consisted of endless hours deep in conversation on a beige phone with an impossibly long, tangled cord.

I posted this 7 years ago. I’m sure the reference to my younger age (58) gave that away. Today I’m just as inept with technology as ever, proving that some things never change.

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