Meeting the Boogeyman

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I don’t know, maybe I watch too many of those true crime programs that feature crazies committing horrendous murders. Or worse, seemingly sane individuals who murder. Not even the gal next door is safe. And that gal could be me. For instance, one night not long ago, I was in my office on my computer around 1:00 a.m. when I heard a car pull up.making a murderer

As you know, when we’re in a lighted room looking out into the night, we can’t see anyone. But they can see us. Spooky, huh? That night I saw only head and tail lights as the car idled in place for seemingly several minutes. That’s when I imagined the occupant of said car was likely plotting my demise.

Pretending not to notice, I kept typing when I heard the car door slam shut, meaning someone exited the vehicle. Trying to discern what was going on without telegraphing panic, I caught a glimpse of a figure, illuminated by the moonlight, walking up the edge of my lawn toward my house. My heart raced and for a moment I wondered why it is I don’t own a gun. Just then, my home security alarm went off…meaning my 4 dogs went ballistic.

Taffy and Wally playing2

Wally and Taffy

Skip and Callie in kitchen

Skip and Callie

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Woman’s Best Friend

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Previously posted in 2013

I had a confetti-filled homecoming last night; my house was TP’ed with a mega roll of Charmin Ultra Soft toilet paper. I know this because I bought the paper myself. You see, the scene of the crime took place inside my home.

Upon walking through the door, I spotted the evidence strewn about like mounds of paper snow. I immediately suspected the culprit was my border collie mix, Callie. She’s a chewer and she bores easily – two rather unfortunate traits in a canine. Continue reading →

My Jury Summons

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Seems like just last month I received a jury summons but apparently it was 2 years ago. Where does the time go? Beats me.

All I know is I opened that all-too-familiar envelope I suspected was calling me to jury duty. Either that or a traffic citation. But I haven’t been pulled over in years so scratch that. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not against fulfilling my civic duty. But it doesn’t exactly thrill me either.

Having said that, I can think of a dozen other things I’d rather be doing. But to be honest with you (and when am I not?), if I were a defendant in court I’d want someone like me on the jury. Why, you ask?

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What Gives Me The Willies

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Last week I wrote about how I try to accept scary or creepy looking things for what they are even though they often give me the willies. And for the most part I can do that. Except when it comes to one particular species: snakes.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I hate snakes; I just don’t like ‘em. They sorta make my skin crawl, the hair stand up on the back of my neck. You get the picture. And try as I might to accept them, I freak out whenever I encounter one. So I’m failing miserably in the acceptance department where snakes are concerned.

What brought this up, you ask? I read an article last week about a man who found a snake hiding in his sofa. Since you’re probably in shock, let me repeat that. A ginormous snake was curled up behind a cushion in this man’s sofa!

So here’s the deal in case you didn’t know…

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I’m a Hypocritical Pacifist

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As you know, I adore animals. In fact, even though I’m not enamored with every species, I try to appreciate them for what they are. I imagine the scary looking ones are more afraid of us than we are of them. At least that’s what I tell myself.

A Black Dragonfish

For instance, take spiders. I don’t mind them, except maybe the brown recluse. Suffice it to say anything whose venom can eat away part of my face with a single bite is something I’m more than willing to avoid. Now don’t get me wrong; it’s nothing personal. I’m sure they’re perfectly delightful creatures in a creepy spider kinda way.

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