I have an announcement to make: We have all been lied to, duped and deceived. Yes, dear friends, you heard it here first. I hate to be the one to burst your bubble but you know how they always say bad things come in sets of threes? Well, they were wrong. Very wrong.  

That’s because I just had a very unlucky month. And it didn’t end after the third hit, when I relaxed a little believing my streak was over. Far from it. The hits just kept on coming. But such is life.

Let me complain, I mean explain…it started with little stuff not really worth mentioning. But you know I will anyway.

* I accidentally deleted a book on my Kindle that I recently purchased but had not yet read. I have no idea how that happened which makes it even more frustrating because you all know how technologically challenged I am.

Currently reading the very funny Let’s Pretend This Never Happened

* I discovered one of the feral cats I’d recently relocated to the adopters yard escaped from his holding cage when they forgot to properly latch it. This is bad.

* My speaker phone in my car became possessed. One day an automated female voice just kept saying Power on, Power on, Power on…ad nauseam. Reading the manual did me absolutely no good. Weeks later she’s still repeating the same mantra.

Possessed

* My credit card was compromised so my bank canceled it. The next day my bank statement informs me my debit card has also been used by a phantom crook. So that card is canceled too. But it gets better (not really)….

* I learn my CPA did not, as she assured me, file my tax returns in time even though I got them to her a month early. In fact, she didn’t file an extension either so I received a whopping fine for being late and another fine because she grossly underestimated my estimated taxes and yet another because I was now late paying my current estimated taxes. I wrote so many checks my hand almost went numb.

* Oh yeah. I fired my CPA.

* Did I mention my refrigerator stopped working? No? Well,in fact, it did. And it’s not old either. But they don’t make Kenmore’s like they used to, do they?

Kaput

* Someone I recently worked with called to say she developed Shingles and sure hopes she didn’t pass it to me when we hugged. I wholeheartedly agreed. But I have since discovered Shingles isn’t transmitted that way. Maybe my luck is changing.

* Nope. I twisted my knee again trying to move a heavy box with it. Don’t ask me why I used my knee when I have 2 perfectly good hands.

See?

* I finally updated my iPhone and instantly remembered why I don’t update my iPhone: Literally 967 contacts were added, many of which were complete strangers. How does that happen? And where did they come from? I don’t even want to know; I’m sorry I asked. I fixed it though. I bought a new phone.

Hello, handsome

* I drove over a screw with the washer still attached. That takes talent, you know. So I spent some quality time at the tire repair shop with my Kindle, not reading the book I accidentally deleted.

Now don’t get me wrong; it hasn’t been all bad. Just mostly bad.

Then, a couple days ago I was leaving my bank, which happens to be adjacent to a cemetery. As I got into my car I glanced over and something caught my eye — a man was lying on top of a grave framed by bouquets of autumn flowers. He was face down with his cheek pressed to the grass, his arms spread wide, hugging the grave.

And in that moment it hit me how truly lucky I am and how I have absolutely nothing to complain about.