As one approaches the Big 6-0, one learns that aging has good, bad and ugly moments. For instance, you wake up one morning needing glasses. It happens just like that. Your hair changes color, and not in a good way. Bones soften, skin wrinkles. Some of us get shorter, if that’s even possible with me.
Now don’t get me wrong; I’d much rather wither with age like a dried fig than the alternative of being 6 feet under or in my case, scattered to the wind. That comes soon enough. Just remember, with the not-go-grand aspects of aging there are accompanying benefits – like people helping you lift heavy stuff into your car; not noticing dust balls in the corners of your living room because you can’t see them without glasses. And then there’s the adage, With Age Comes Wisdom. I’m still waiting for that to happen.
Anyway, here are some of the good, bad and ugly aspects of aging I experienced this week:
Meeting friends for dinner, I decided to spruce myself up more than usual. The thing is, my “usual” pretty much consists of showering, blow-drying my hair then penciling in eyebrows because I plucked most of mine into oblivion.
But this particular night I put more effort into my appearance. I added some lipstick, curled my eyelashes and finished with a touch of mascara. Trouble is, it wasn’t mascara. Not wearing my specs, I instead grabbed my brown hair coloring wand I use to cover pesky grays between colorings.
In my defense, the wand applicator resembles my mascara. With glasses on, I would have noticed it said Color Kiss. I figured something was wrong when it didn’t dry quickly. And once dry, it didn’t easily wash off. But that’s where the good part comes.
By accident, I discovered touch-up hair coloring makes lashes appear thicker and fuller! Yep, you heard it here first. I tell ya ladies, I’m onto something. I had enviable lashes that night and best of all, they stayed that way for days!
That brings me to my scattering of gray hair, another not-so-lovely benefit of aging. If I had the beautiful white locks my dad and my Nana had, I would leave it alone. Besides, my motto is to look presentable in as little time as possible. But no, I was not so blessed in the hair department. Instead, I inherited the mousey gray of my sweet grandmother Helen.
Luckily, it’s not all bad getting grayish. The good thing about using a color rinse is that it fades in about a month. Therefore, I can be a brunette in October, chestnut brown in November and maybe a light golden brown in December. Pretty fun, huh?
But there are also bad things about hair coloring. Like the time I went dark and resembled someone who is into goth. Not a good look on me. And just a few days ago I walked around for a few hours looking like Lucille Ball’s daughter.
You see, my attempt at trying an auburn brown this month backfired when it turned bright brassy orange. I kid you not. Even my pets looked at me funny. But fortunately for me, I had a haircut appointment that same afternoon. The second I arrived, my blunder was validated by the horrified look on my hairdresser’s face.
Being the sweetheart she is, Jamie whispered to me, “Janet, please let me color over this. My next client can wait.” That’s how ugly it was.
So you can see there are good, bad and ugly parts to aging. And if I would just follow the Beatles advice to
and not try to make myself more presentable, I wouldn’t get into these predicaments.
But where’s the fun in that?
Janet, this is a really funny post. Thanks for making me laugh this morning!
Always my pleasure!