I’m writing this awfully close to the 11th hour before posting so I really procrastinated on this one. Do you want to hear my excuse? You do? Well, I’m sorry but I simply don’t have time to go into that right now. The pressure’s on so I’ll jump right in.

A couple weeks ago I wrote about my introduction to wearing contacts. But Kaiser Permanente was out of the ones I need. Therefore, I went home with enough for just 4 days until more arrive, whenever that will be. So I had to decide which precious 4 days I wanted to wear contacts. Decisions, decisions.

I waited a couple days and in the interim I forgot the trick for putting contacts onto my eyeballs. I’m fairly sure there’s a trick to it. And I also forgot which way the contact should sit on my finger to show it’s not inverted and therefore might feel like sand embedded in my cornea. To tell the truth, it looked the same to me no matter how I flipped it.

So anyway, when I finally decided to wear them, I had no idea what I was doing, which is why it took me 15 minutes to get those little suckers onto my eyeballs. For the record, I incorrectly inserted one. How do I know? Because, as I was warned, it felt as though I’d spent a day at the beach and brought some of it back with me, but only in my left eye.

Mine are daily throw away contacts so they’re super thin, just about invisible. Therefore, it’s tough to know if my index finger and thumb have actually grabbed ahold of a contact when it’s impossible to feel. And naturally, I can’t wear glasses to see what I’m doing when trying to insert or remove contacts. So let me just say hooray for my savior, a 10x magnifying mirror.

So here’s something I didn’t count on. As you know, I have 9 pets so that means pretty much everything in my house, including me, has fur attached. And until recently, I had no idea just how much fur until I tried wearing contacts. Using the magnifying mirror, I could see my finger as well as the contact. And each time I raised it to my eye, I’d see a tiny strand of fur stuck to either the contact or my finger. So I’d wipe my finger on a clean hand towel, which evidently also had fur attached.

After cleaning the contact, that stubborn strand of fur still clung to it like a magnet to metal. So I wasted 10 more minutes trying to free it, swearing under my breath with each passing minute. Now don’t get me wrong; I don’t regret getting contacts although it sure seems that way reading this, doesn’t it?

I just didn’t factor in the fur element, nor that it’s taking extra time during my busy mornings because evidently I’m inept. Another little tidbit: never rub your eyes while wearing contacts. I learned that one just moments ago. It’s all worth it though; my eyes feel young because I can finally see detail again. (But sometimes I wish I didn’t, if you know what I mean.)

Now if you’ll excuse me, my 11th hour is about up. It’s late and I need to remove my contacts for the evening. And as you now know, when I’m actually able to hit the sack will depend on precisely how long it takes me to accomplish that little feat. Trust me, it could take a while.