So, one day a couple of months ago, I became antsy reading a ton of emails from those wanting help trapping a feral cat, wanting a feral cat, or needing their feral cat sterilized…just my usual morning in cat rescue.

I then decided to take a detour to focus on something else, something a little more, shall I say, entertaining. If you’ve seen the movie, Pretty Woman, starring Julia Roberts, you probably recall the line she said to the saleswoman who refused to help her buy a new wardrobe, and I quote:

That, dear readers, is precisely what I did by taking a detour; I made a mistake. Since I’m college educated, shouldn’t I be using critical thinking daily? The answer is yes, but as it turns out, I don’t. Or perhaps that particular ability took a break that day. Here’s what happened: I decided to take an online IQ test called a Cognitive Assessment Report. I thought, that sounds like fun, so why not? What do I have to lose other than 30 minutes?

Now don’t get me wrong; I enjoyed challenging myself to finish the tests within a certain time frame. There were three categories. One was Fluid Reasoning, which supposedly helps one solve new problems quickly and make smart decisions under pressure. That definitely didn’t sound like me, but surprisingly, I answered 75% correctly. They proclaimed that I think fast, but obviously they don’t know me. Apparently, Fluid Reasoning is one of the strongest predictors of success in work and life.

Visual Processing is another category which is the ability to perceive, analyze, and think with visual patterns, interpreting charts and diagrams. I knew I was screwed with this one. Turns out I don’t think in three dimensions by visualizing spaces, mentally rotating objects, and manipulating shapes without physically seeing them. My immediate thought was, huh?

Let’s just say I scored pitifully at 56%. So it seems I’m not much of a visual processor. This ability is essential for design thinking (again, what?), navigation, and recognizing patterns in complex data. To which I say…

No wonder I flunked that one. Everyone who knows me knows I’m navigationally challenged. My sense of direction simply doesn’t exist. If I say go north, you should go south or you’ll surely be lost. I’m in love with GPS, as it has often saved me the humiliation of asking for directions.

Now here’s a painful one: Working Memory. Everyone knows I have the memory of a gnat. I believe I was born forgetful, which is why I scored 44% in this category. The results say I don’t always focus, hold and use information, handle complex tasks, and think clearly when things get complex. Oh, how right they are.

So here’s what’s really interesting. The evaluation of my genius (or lack thereof) concluded that in the world population of 8 billion, I’m smarter than 7.5 billion people. No way! If that’s true, there are billions of dumb people out there. But wait, there’s more…in a room of 100, I would supposedly outperform 94% of them. Phooey. I answered 18 of the 25 questions correctly, so they proclaimed my IQ as 123, 23 points higher than the general population…to which I say, impossible!

It cost me a whopping $1.00 to see how smart or dumb I am. But the joke was on me. “My IQ” charged my Venmo account an additional $30 to be charged monthly and, as I’m discovering, it’s a bit difficult to remove. Yep, stupid me had a lapse in attention and concentration, contributing to my poor score in the Working Memory category.

Anyway, I alerted Venmo and they froze my account but said it will likely take weeks before I get a refund, if I even get one. (Online complaints to “My IQ” are abundant.) Yes, I admit I’m an idiot falling for this. But on the bright side, I learned some lessons and I have to admit I enjoyed the process. So here’s what I came away with:

Lesson #1: Don’t do stupid things, like taking online IQ tests.

Lesson # 2: But if you do take the test, don’t forget to read the fine print first.

Lesson #3: Having a college degree doesn’t necessarily mean a person is smart. Trust me on this one.