You know, time clicks by at a pace way too fast for those of us with skin more closely resembling a Shar-Pei rather than the supple, collagen-filled flesh of our youth. As we of this age know, when we’re young, time seems to move slower than molasses in January.
Well, I’ve learned a few things about that subject, like how youth is totally wasted on the young. I think we should be born old and live our lives in reverse, age-wise, like Brad Pitt in the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Imagine being able to snowboard at age 90 without a single thought of potentially breaking every bone in our body. And wouldn’t it be nice to believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny late in life instead of them only being a memory from the magical world in which we once lived?
And speaking of memory, it’s such a shame to lose it as we age because it’s an essential prerequisite to reminiscing. And what are we without our memories? When we can no longer take a 50 mile bike ride or go on a camping safari in Tanzania because we’re ancient, our memories are what we rely on to remind us we actually had a pretty great life.
My mom used to say getting old isn’t for sissies and I’m beginning to think she was right. For instance, I don’t like being aware of my body when I wake up in the morning. What do I mean by that? Until age 60 I had little experience with sore muscles or an aching back. Now my morning walk to the bathroom reminds me with every step.
The older I get, the more I find myself doing embarrassing things. Perhaps I did them when I was young but a perk of aging is I don’t remember.
Take last week. I was leaving the grocery store, completely engrossed in finding something in my purse while walking to my car. So I get into my blue Toyota Highlander and immediately struggle with the sun visor, which is in a strange position. As I put my purse on the passenger seat, I notice a child’s pair of shoes sitting on neatly folded children’s clothing. But I never had children.
Holy crap! This isn’t my car! I’d made myself at home in an unlocked blue Honda CRV parked next to my actual vehicle. The good news is I laughed out loud while simultaneously hoping nobody saw me jump from the vehicle as quick as humanly possible. Fortunately no child was waiting for mom in the back seat of the unlocked car when this 66-year-old entered it.
Anyway, we have to laugh at ourselves at this stage of the game and be grateful for the failing eyesight, wrinkly skin, foggy memory and the unfortunate ability to completely identify with those senior jokes friends email us.
Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not actually lamenting my aches and pains, although it sure sounds that way. Because when all’s said and done, the perks that accompany a more mature crowd are actually gifts when we consider the alternative. Turns out I prefer breathing more than having youthful skin and good eyesight.
Although to be honest, I wouldn’t mind being able to sleep more than 5 hours a night. I’m just sayin’…