A while back I blogged disparagingly about the FDA, how they approve thousands of drugs that end up being recalled, or worse, killing people. Can you believe there are over 20,000 prescription drug products approved for marketing? Commercials list horror stories of side effects, and not the good kind like suppressing the appetite or reducing the appearance of wrinkles. I remember thinking, how on earth did that drug ever pass clinical trials?

The pharmaceutical business is just that — a business. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying everyone associated with creating and/or approving drugs for marketing is only in it for the cash but the yearly billion-dollar-budget pharmaceuticals pay to those who regulate the drugs they’re peddling seems a bit self-serving, don’t you think?

Take the latest push to sell QUVIVIQ, a drug that purports to help with insomnia. Actor Taye Diggs has the affliction (as do I, which I blogged about last Sunday). In the commercial he talks about counting sheep and listening to white noise and nature sounds, all to no avail.

But here’s the disturbing thing — the majority of air time is spent describing the horrors of taking QUVIVIQ. And you have to hand it to the woman who “mentions” the side effects; she did it in lightening speed with a sweet voice, probably hoping you weren’t listening. But here’s what’s possibly in store should your doctor prescribe this stuff:

QUVIVIQ is a controlled substance because it can cause dependence. I’m already dependent on chocolate so this doesn’t sound too inviting to me.

Don’t take it if you have narcolepsy. Wise suggestion. And naturally, don’t drink or drive when under the influence of this drug you’re about to depend on (perhaps for the rest of your life).

Here’s one of the scariest symptoms: QUVIVIQ may cause a temporary inability to move or talk. Seriously?! I’m not so sure I trust the “temporary” part of that sentence. Besides, moving and talking are two of my favorite things in life.

You may hallucinate while sleeping or waking up. Maybe it’s just me but I’d rather not believe a murderer is in my house without recognizing it’s not really happening. I already have enough stress, thank you very much.

QUVIVIQ may lead you to do activities while not fully awake that you don’t remember doing the next day. WHAT? And that’s not the half of it. Here’s the clincher…what you’re likely not to remember is walking or driving and making or eating food.

Lest you think we’re done, think again. Guess what? If you struggle with depression, taking this drug may give you suicidal thoughts. I’m thinking that’s a potentially deadly side effect. All in agreement, raise your hand.

Actually, the least awful thing about QUVIVIO is that you’ll likely get headaches. What a relief. Your head may hurt but you probably won’t care because you’ll worry about not being able to move or talk while hallucinating about a murderer in your house, then you’ll drive to Burger King for a Whopper with a side of fries, none of which you’ll remember the next day, whereupon your depression has you contemplating suicide.

I don’t know about you but I’m sticking with my cannabis gummies to lull me to sleep. The only side effect they produce is a well-rested body and spirit where I’m energized and looking forward to starting my day by actually moving and talking. Not a single suicidal thought in mind.

Anyway, the commercial ends with Taye Diggs suggesting, “Ask your doctor if QUVIVIO is right for you.” Yes, he actually says that. But ladies and gents, do we really need to ask?