You know that saying, when it rains, it pours? Turns out it’s true. I estimate for the last few months I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop because the hits just keep on coming. Suffice to say, the other shoe has dropped.

What am I talking about? I thought you’d never ask…

Last winter, when our area was inundated with torrential rains, I thought I’d come home to discover my house floating down the street. Fortunately, that didn’t happen but it was the start of a downward spiral. Oh, the joys of being a homeowner.

I have to admit I jinxed myself. Mentioning how I’ve escaped most house issues over the years was the kiss of death. I’ve been in my home 40 years now and very little has gone wrong. But it was simply waiting to rear its ugly head.

Early this year as I sat in my family room, I felt something wet on my shoulder. I looked up to see one of my skylights leaking during a particularly nasty storm. Let’s just say it wasn’t a welcome surprise.

While the storm raged into the next day, I noticed a wet spot on the living room area rug. I thought Taffy had missed her pee pad, as she often does, when a drip landed on my head. Looking up, I saw a water stain on the wet, leaking ceiling. Uh oh, that’s not good. Seems my roof, guaranteed for 30 years, lasted only 20.

Last winter a storm caused my living room oak flooring to buckle so I had the downstairs replaced with luxury vinyl, impervious to water, scratches, staining, and most of all — my 10 crazy animals. When my Milgard window broke and I took it out, I dropped it on my new flooring but it didn’t even leave a dent. (Just a bit of good news!)

Then a couple weeks ago I had my roof replaced with another 30-year roof (translated: 20 years.) Now don’t get me wrong; I expect to be ashes in the wind by 2054 so a 20-year roof is just fine with me.

And since one of my skylights had a leak, odds are the other one would soon follow. So I had new ones installed. But my roofer said my gutters are old and rusty and need replacing. Those are due here in another week.

Because I’m getting gutters, I decided to get gutter guards too. Hey, why not? Who likes climbing ladders to dig out soggy leaves that clog the downspouts? Not I. Then, since I was on a mission, I reached my tolerance level with my upstairs carpet which is, in a word, despicable. It’s old and well past it’s prime. Just like me. So tomorrow they’re installing more indestructible luxury vinyl. I will spare you the carpet photo. You’re welcome.

Yet it doesn’t end there. I called Direct TV to cancel since my bill is $197 a month and I watch maybe 10 channels, if that. Over time, they increase the cost incrementally so we don’t notice. But I noticed. I informed them I’m going with YouTube TV for $74 a month with essentially the same programming. I’m now paying $74 a month for Direct TV.

But the hits just keep coming. Three days ago my microwave went kaput but it was over 20 years old so I was due. My handy neighbor, Paul, helped me install it.

Oh, and last month my water heater hose sprung a leak which my sweet neighborhood plumber, Andrew, fixed. Then a few days ago my washing machine leaked, saturating my garage floor. So Andrew came back out. I’m considering putting him on speed dial.

The fence between Paul, Vicki, and me needed replacing so we had a new one built. Then my Roku streaming upstairs stopped working although it works downstairs. Go figure. Now my Direct TV remotes only work when they feel like it. Yep, when it rains, it pours.

Lesson learned — never jinx yourself by vocalizing how fortunate you are to have escaped most house issues. It’s likely to be the kiss of death.