Category Archives: Annoyances

Whirlpool Sucks. And Other Things I Learned this Week

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  • Never ride your scooter on the freeway in a tank top when you’re 62 years old. And when you have upper arms that, on a good day, flap around like fish out of water. Add whipping winds while you’re scooting at 50 mph and what you get is slapped silly by your own arms. I tell you, it’s not a pretty sight. Soon you’ll find yourself riding down the freeway with your arms pinned close to your sides so as not to cause a pile up when motorists look on in horror.
flappy arms

Okay, I changed my mind. Maybe my arms aren’t so bad after all

  • Do not attempt, on a Wednesday, to push your 153 lb. sister in a wheelchair DOWN Sacramento Street in San Francisco, especially after receiving the wrong directions to your destination. You will be on your heels the entire journey, mimicking one of those barefoot water skiers, in your attempt to prevent your sister from careening down a steep city street like Steve McQueen’s car in the movie, Bullitt. Now don’t get me wrong; what goes down must come up. All 153 lbs. UPHILL, in a wheelchair.
Bullit chase

Pretty much like this

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When it Rains, it Pours

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You know that saying, when it rains, it pours? Turns out it’s true. I estimate for the last few months I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop because the hits just keep on coming. Suffice to say, the other shoe has dropped.

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What Causes Me Angst

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There’s one day each year that causes me immense angst, almost as much as having to endure those singing Jardiance diabetes commercials. Consequently, I’m inclined to make myself a lemon drop to dull the pain. Or better yet, a martini, sans the olives. I don’t want anything in my glass taking up valuable vodka space when it’s really needed. And I really need it every April 15th.

If you live in America, you know exactly what I’m talking about: TAX DAY. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not complaining about paying my taxes. I’m perfectly happy to pay what I owe. Well, maybe that’s going a bit too far. Let’s just say I pay what I owe. It’s figuring out what I owe that’s the issue.

For this I blame my CPA, or should I say the woman who WAS my CPA. Each year, well before April 15th, she sent me a folder with a list of questions about that year’s finances. I sent it back, she did her magic, I subsequently paid her then said, “See ya next year!” But there was no next year because she actually had the audacity to retire a couple years ago.

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Good To Go

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Recently I wrote about an optometrist discovering I have weird eyes in that the angle around the inside edges (to simplify a complicated explanation) is tilted in such a way that my eye fluid (yes, we have eye fluid), wasn’t draining like it should which could result in glaucoma and possible blindness if gone undetected. So a couple weeks ago an ophthalmologist made a hole in my left retina with a laser and on Friday he lasered the right . Let the draining begin!

Apparently as we age, it’s not just aches and pains we deal with. We can get something called shingles, which is said to be hiding in the bodies of adults over 50 who have had chicken pox. Yikes. Seems it plays hide seek with us so we never know when it’ll pop out, like Jack in the Box (the toy, not the fast food restaurant).

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Don’t Mess With Me

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sweet quote

I have a lot of people fooled because many are under the assumption I’m a sweet and kind person who probably doesn’t swear or even gossip. Boy are those people mistaken. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying I’m a total bitch or anything, although I know some who disagree. You’ll meet them later.

I think I’m a decent human being. But if you continually aggravate me, all bets are off. And swearing? If you were a fly stuck in my car, you’d raise your eyebrows (if flies had eyebrows) with what emerges from these thin lips of mine as I rant over perceived inept drivers.

fly

Let me out! This woman is crazy

And gossip? Guilty as charged. To demonstrate, I’ll quote a line from the movie, Steel Magnolias…

gossip quote

Yes friends, I admit I love me some juicy gossip.

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