Category Archives: Humor

I’m a Hypocritical Pacifist

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As you know, I adore animals. In fact, even though I’m not enamored with every species, I try to appreciate them for what they are. I imagine the scary looking ones are more afraid of us than we are of them. At least that’s what I tell myself.

A Black Dragonfish

For instance, take spiders. I don’t mind them, except maybe the brown recluse. Suffice it to say anything whose venom can eat away part of my face with a single bite is something I’m more than willing to avoid. Now don’t get me wrong; it’s nothing personal. I’m sure they’re perfectly delightful creatures in a creepy spider kinda way.

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What I Learned At The DMV

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Because I tend to procrastinate with things I hate to do, I did exactly that on Monday. What is that, you ask? Well, I turned the big 7-0 last week, so of course I waited until the last possible minute to get my new license photo taken.

So Long Brown Hair. Hello Gray Hair

I stupidly tried to get an appointment online but my computer practically laughed in my face. The earliest I could get in was late August. So I did the next best thing — I signed up online to reserve a place in line. I was G-031 so 11 people were ahead of me. When I became number six in line, I headed to the Novato DMV.

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Welcome To My World

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I’ve had the same family room furniture for what feels like forever. Granted, I have a horrendous memory, but the sofa, easy chair, and ottoman are like old friends who have overstayed their welcome and now it’s time to say goodbye. Hum…I wonder why they’re called easy chairs, or ottomans, for that matter? But I digress…

Old furniture
Same here

I believe my Broyhill furniture could very likely be the winner of who produces items meant to last longer than we actually want them to. When my fridge and dryer died WAY before their time, I wasn’t a happy camper. But when my family room furniture ran its course, it didn’t have the decency to fall apart.

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It’s Me, The Ignoramus

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So 10 months ago, I had my roof re-shingled and in doing so, they had to remove my DIRECTV dish. According to my roofers, DIRECTV put it in the wrong spot. Odd how the dish has worked nicely for the last 20 years in the wrong spot.

Anyway, apparently it became damaged when they removed it, so I contacted DIRECTV for a new one. After 20 years on their protection plan, I rarely needed them. I can think of many other things I’d rather have spent that $2400 on. But now that I’m off the plan, what do you bet next month the whole system crashes? Oh well…

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Hello, Summer!

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Summer is my favorite time of year, not just for the nice warm weather, vacations, and lots of time outside, but for the abundance of scrumptious fruit available to us in California. I’m a fruit freak. If you opened my fridge today, you’d wonder how many people live with me. (That would be zero.) But I can’t help it. I’m a stocker. I stock up on things, just like my mom did.

I enjoy most fruit but some I simply tolerate, like grapefruit and papaya. Also, I can take or leave kiwi. Now don’t get me wrong; I have nothing super negative to say about those fruits, other than they’re boring. To me they’re not in the same ballpark as cherries or watermelon. And while we’re at it, throw in blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries.

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