Category Archives: Humor

Oh Happy Day! Or is it?

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I think you all know how much I’ve struggled with house training my one-year-old Dachshund mix, Wally. He’s either the most stubborn dog this side of New York or not a very bright canine. I’d say maybe both.

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After his first bath

My friend Patty adopted a Dachshund mix a day before I took home Wally last summer. Unlike me, she has a history with the breed and wanted a companion for her full-on Dachshund, Jimmy Dean.

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Jimmy Dean

Enter Ali. Hard as it is to believe, Ali is even cuter than Wally. But Patty’s pup has the same issues as Wally. Yippee!

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Ali

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A Bruised Ego

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After my morning shower Thursday, I grabbed the hamper and headed downstairs to do a load of wash. Nothing exciting there, right? But that would soon change.

While making my morning latte, I decided to check my email but I couldn’t find my iPhone. Then I remembered where it was when I saw it last. And then, seconds later, I knew where I’d find it now.

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Before I’d headed downstairs, I’d placed my cell phone on top of the towels in the hamper in order to carry everything at once. My phone cover happens to be a beige cat that blended perfectly with the beige towel at the top of the hamper.

phone-cover

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New Year’s Resolutions Worth Keeping

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No time to write this week so here’s an encore posting from 2014. Happy New Year to ya!

mark twain quoteI hate New Year’s resolutions.

Why? Because they’re like diets; just about impossible to follow through with. Who do you know who has ever stayed true to their resolutions past February? Therefore, you begin the year with a bunch of lies. Right out of the gate you’re a liar. I prefer to begin the new year with truths I know to be self evident. These are mine:

1) I will not go to the gym every other day and work out with 87 other people who promised themselves the very same thing. These resolution-makers flood the gym the first month of the year, making it nearly impossible to find an open machine or unoccupied weights.crowded gym

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Oh, Rats!

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Well, this is embarrassing.

I have rats. As in the kind that are disgusting, not the cute domestic rats my associate Donna has as pets. Her rats actually have personalities, like you and me. They don’t talk and they can’t shop or go to a movie with you but overall they’re pretty entertaining.

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Izzy and Simon

I don’t know why we find domestic rats cuter than sewer rats, which are considered vermin, but there you go. My guess is the moniker, sewer, doesn’t enhance their image. But the thought of vermin taking up residence in my walls gives me the Creeps with a capital C. Unfortunately, I’ve had the Creeps a lot lately.

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A not-so-cute sewer rat

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The Art of Commuting

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Here’s what I’ve learned about commuting. It sucks. I ask you, how do people do this every day?

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Lately I’ve been commuting into San Francisco once a week, which normally takes around 45 minutes. But not when it’s 7:30 a.m. Then it takes 90 minutes. Yes, you read that right. I can jog faster than we often crawl along the freeway (and I only jog 10 minute miles). Commuting makes me want to drive off the nearest cliff. But I won’t because that means sitting in more traffic to get there.

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I’ve joined the poor saps who commute into the city because the SPCA offered to sterilize 5 feral cats for us each visit for free. Let me repeat that awesome sentence in case you’re questioning whether you need glasses. THEY ARE DOING IT FOR FREE. That means each time I endure the excruciatingly tedious drive, I remind myself it’s worth my nonprofit saving $300. Continue reading →