Category Archives: Humor

Winston: The Not So Friendly Ghost

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My home is possessed.

Now don’t get me wrong; I haven’t witnessed a shimmering white image at the foot of my bed in the wee hours of the night. You know I rarely sleep anymore so I’m often awake during prime ghost hours (presumably 2-3 a.m.). Anyway, what self-respecting spirit manifests himself when his intended target is wide awake? Sorta takes the excitement away from scaring me out of a deep slumber, wouldn’t you say?

boo

I’ve named my homebound spirit Winston and I’d love to meet him, if not to simply wring his neck. I imagine, though, it might be difficult to strangle a vaporous white cloud. Still, I’d like to try. The fact is, my annoying heavenly spirit has attempted to get my attention for quite a while before finally succeeding. Well done, Winston.

Turns out my earthly ghost messes with most of my techie gadgets, like Direct TV, computer, cell phone, GPS, portable speakerphone, even my Fitbit. You name it, if it’s electronic, he bewitches it just for yours truly. And to him I say:

thoughtful

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Oh So Weary

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I’ve been weary. Oh so weary. Isn’t that a song? I can’t be sure because of my weariness. Brush my hair? Do I have to? Feed the animals? Can’t they miss a meal? Plain and simple, I’m about at my limit rustling up spare energy. In other words, I’m dog tired.

dog-tired

Right about now you might be thinking, quit feeling sorry for yourself, Janet. I’m busy also but you don’t see ME whining. Okay, so maybe you’re a whirlwind like my friend Sharon who never tires. Well good for you. And her. But not everything is about you and Sharon. So get over yourself already. This is MY blog and I’m trying to tell you how tired I am. Jeeeeez…

I’m so sorry. I have to apologize for being rude back there. I’m not myself when I’m weary. Now don’t get me wrong; it’s not like my crankiness means I’d have you killed just for a differing opinion. Not that I couldn’t. Have you killed, that is. After all, this is America and we have the First Amendment. We also have folks willing to bump you off for putting it into action.

free-speech

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You Can’t Trust Anyone

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I’m sitting on my sofa writing this, fighting off something intangible, unlike the pesky fly that buzzed around my face earlier today. (Which reminds me, what’s a fly doing still hanging around in October? Didn’t he get the memo it’s time to move on?) Anyway, what I’m fighting off today is exhaustion and I’m afraid it’s gaining the upper hand.

i-am-tired

Normally I write in my office where I usually house a feral foster kitten. When I’m too busy to hold the little munchkin, I sometimes socialize it with a wand toy in one hand while typing with the other. So finishing a blog post when I’m fostering can be long and tiresome, not unlike this election season.

my-latest-foster

George, my latest foster

Anyway, I’d be in my office right about now but I don’t have the stamina to walk the 28 paces to get there. Yes, I actually counted. So I confess I wasn’t being honest just now because I actually walked the distance then came back to my cushy sofa to continue writing. Which brings me to the point of this week’s post; you can’t trust anyone. Continue reading →

My Mutts Have Issues

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So my friend Annette and I decided to take our mutts to the beach for a day of frolicking in the sand, surf and sun. I only took 2 of my 4 monsters because Nellie’s old and might not make it out of the car before needing a nap and Callie is fear aggressive, an affliction which doesn’t translate well around people. Or other dogs. Or pretty much anything that moves. So Skip, Wally and I joined Annette and her perfectly behaved German Shepard, Tess.

tess2

Let me just say there must be something wrong with me because my mutts have issues. I prefer to think they’re just flawed little creatures who zeroed in on my inclination for adopting not-so-perfect beings. Either that or I’m a crappy guardian.

take-your-pick

Nellie, however, is nearly perfect. Emphasis on nearly. She does have a tendency to use table corners as appetizers so that’s a check in the flawed box. Good luck finding a piece of wooden furniture in my home lacking her teeth impressions.

nellie-sleeping-on-sofa

Nellie’s favorite pastime

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Even-Tempered and Happy-Go-Lucky

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I want to scream. I’m talking the kind of scream where I throw myself on the ground like a 5-year-old having a tantrum, legs kicking wildly, arms flailing, red faced and near tears. THAT kind of scream.

screaming-girl

So what could cause me, a normally even-tempered, happy-go-lucky gal to feel this way? Two words…a dishwasher. God help me (and everyone around me) if another of my appliances bites the dust. I’m at the point with this Bosch dishwasher that I’d throw it through a window if I could lift it. Which I can’t. So I won’t. Continue reading →