Steady as She Goes

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Every muscle in my body is screaming. They’re not at all happy with me today. That’s because I started running again after a long lay-off from a knee injury and general laziness. Actually, running is too strong a word for what I actually do. It’s more like a slow jog. Some might even consider it meandering.

I’ve always been a slow runner. Even when I was training for a couple sprint triathlons with my bionic friends, Pam and Margo, I never became faster over the months. They assured me if I kept it up and did interval training I’d get quicker. Didn’t happen. A million years ago I was a miler on my high school track team. But I wasn’t fast then either. I think I’m programmed for endurance. Except for now, when my endurance is on hiatus.

Anyway, in school I had absolutely no talent for running and never practiced except when the team did. And even then I spent more time gabbing with friends than actually doing any running. It was more a social event for me than anything. Still, I could keep up with the pack for the first half mile but that’s where they lost me. I think my fastest time was a dismal 7.5 minute mile. Talk about embarrassing.

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Partners in Crime

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Thanksgiving began with a phone call to my friend Sue.

Me: Just a heads up I may need you later today, so keep your phone nearby.
Sue: What’s up?
Me: You’re my one phone call I’m allowed from jail. Oh, and don’t forget to remove the turkey from your oven before coming to bail me out.
Sue: Okay, will do.

You may be able to deduce from this conversation that Sue knows me well enough to realize one of these days I’ll be arrested for helping animals, probably cats, and if that means doing something illegal in the process, so be it.

Careful of the nail polish, please.

Careful of the nail polish, please.

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Ladies of the Court

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tennis anyone

Tennis is my passion so I hope to be playing into my 90s. My first obstacle is living that long. Then I’ll need to have my wits about me, which is already questionable. Then I have to be a smidgen ambulatory. Yes, it will be ugly tennis but some would say that describes how I play today. And they would not be wrong.

To be competitive in tennis, we generally partner with and play against those within our rating bracket. I’m rated 4.5. If you don’t play USTA tennis, that statement means about as much to you as the Theory of Relativity means to me.  My point is, I enjoy competition.

You see, I’ve always been a tomboy. At least that’s what they called it when it was unusual for girls to be just as athletic as boys. Being a tomboy was a stigma because I wasn’t “a feminine young lady.” People didn’t know what to make of me. But things have changed. Today, female athletes are on boxes of Wheaties and the cover of Sports Illustrated.

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Altered States

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new and improved

New and Improved. That seems to be the trend these days concerning how we look. Nobody wants to look like themselves anymore, and no more so than in Tinseltown where performers are painfully scrutinized.

My guess is the majority of actors in Hollywood are in some sort of altered state. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying they’re on drugs. Although, if we’re being honest here, and I assume we are, I’ve no doubt the green leafy stuff and the white powdery substance is as common as having a plastic surgeon on speed-dial among those who entertain us. But that’s another story for a later blog…altered states

No, what I mean by an altered state is Botox, collagen injections, liposuction, face lifts…You see, in the entertainment industry, it’s taboo to look like yourself. I’m all for doing whatever toots your horn. But the degree to which some go is baffling to me. In pursuit of new and improved, they often become unrecognizable, maybe even to themselves.

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Itsy Bitsy Spider

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itsy bitsy spiderI read something extremely disturbing this week. No, it wasn’t about ISIS or Syria, although it doesn’t get much worse than that. But that’s not the kind of disturbing I’m talking about. I suppose this particular topic is more repugnant than tragic. And here’s why…

A spider took up residence in a woman’s ear canal. I’ll give you a minute to absorb that. Feel free to step away from the computer if you’d like to get up and shudder away the grossness. Go ahead, I’ll wait.spider

Better now? I know how you feel because I had the same reaction. Can you even imagine such a thing? I would guess fear of spiders is one of the top 5 phobias that provoke the heebie-jeebies in people. And news like this isn’t going to help one bit. Continue reading →