Whirlpool Sucks. And Other Things I Learned this Week

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  • Never ride your scooter on the freeway in a tank top when you’re 62 years old. And when you have upper arms that, on a good day, flap around like fish out of water. Add whipping winds while you’re scooting at 50 mph and what you get is slapped silly by your own arms. I tell you, it’s not a pretty sight. Soon you’ll find yourself riding down the freeway with your arms pinned close to your sides so as not to cause a pile up when motorists look on in horror.
flappy arms

Okay, I changed my mind. Maybe my arms aren’t so bad after all

  • Do not attempt, on a Wednesday, to push your 153 lb. sister in a wheelchair DOWN Sacramento Street in San Francisco, especially after receiving the wrong directions to your destination. You will be on your heels the entire journey, mimicking one of those barefoot water skiers, in your attempt to prevent your sister from careening down a steep city street like Steve McQueen’s car in the movie, Bullitt. Now don’t get me wrong; what goes down must come up. All 153 lbs. UPHILL, in a wheelchair.
Bullit chase

Pretty much like this

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The Doggie Heist

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As you may know, I’d do just about anything to help a neglected or abused animal, even if it means getting arrested. In fact, it’s #12 on my bucket list. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not looking forward to it, but it’s probably inevitable. Fair warning: this post isn’t humorous but it has a happy ending.

Being in feral cat rescue for 20 years, I’ve had my life threatened, been chased, harassed, flipped off, even had our equipment destroyed and stolen. Fun stuff. But I’m not intimidated, nor are my cohorts. We’re fearless (which might not be smart) because when an animal is being abused or neglected, we take action.

In our area, Animal Control can’t remove a pet who has food, shelter, water, and who seems to be in good physical condition. So when they were called to check on this dog (let’s call her Sadie), she appeared to be okay. But when her physical condition deteriorated, our phone rang. The caller was worried Animal Control might have to return the dog. But us? Not a chance. There was only one solution:

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Silver Linings

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Originally posted in June, 2021

Recently I started believing luck isn’t my friend. In other words, my luck sucks. But now I realize, depending on how I look at things, bad luck can have a silver lining. So by changing my way of looking at things, lo and behold, I discovered I’m actually a lucky duck.

For instance…

While I was stuck in downtown traffic, my cell phone rang. Since I’d just delivered feral cats to be sterilized, I picked up the phone thinking the vet might be calling. That’s when I noticed a police car in the lane to my right, the officer watching me holding my phone.

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One of These Days

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When one has 5 cats, 4 dogs and an array of rotating foster kittens, one can expect constant activity, except maybe in the wee hours of the night. And sometimes not even then when one particular dog snores like an inebriated sailor cursed with sleep apnea.

Skip, my snorer, sleeping with Oliver

Now don’t get me wrong. Skip’s snoring is actually kind of endearing. But how such a small mutt creates so much noise is baffling. Being an insomniac with 2 functioning ears, I can attest he is loud.

That’s when I started thinking of how one of these days it might be nice to sleep 8 hours instead of my usual 5. And I thought, what would life be like without my animals? Well, the dam burst and within mere minutes these 17 thoughts poured out of me.

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That’s Just Jack

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Marley and Me

Spoiler Alert

I just watched the movie Marley and Me with my fat cat, Jack. Yes, Jack watches TV; he’s a very observant guy. But if you haven’t seen the movie, I’m about to ruin it for you so you should probably skip the next paragraph.

Marley and Me is a comedy about a dog but also a tearjerker because Marley dies, as dogs will do. I’d already seen the movie but I still cried like a baby. I’m talking crocodile tears that spilled from my eyes, missed my cheeks entirely, then landed on Jack, who lounged on my lap. Pathetic? Yeah, I’d say so.

Now that you virgins of Marley and Me are back with us, let’s continue.

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