Tag Archives: humor

FDA: How Stupid Do You Think We Are?

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FDA

Yeah, right

You know those commercials advertising drugs with inventive medical names like Farxiga and Otezla? What about the ones they tout but never actually mention what they’re for? What’s that all about? I suppose they want us to guess.

Okay, I’ll play along. Let’s see…a couple is strolling through a flowering field, hand in hand on a beautiful spring-like day. Is this a pill for allergies? Doubt it or wouldn’t they just say so?

in a field

Well, he’s looking at her lovingly. Maybe it’s a drug for erectile dysfunction (like we need more of those). Hmm…but she’s also looking at him with a twinkle in her eye, so perhaps they’re pushing a pill that enhances female arousal (now we’re talkin’). Continue reading →

Winston: The Not So Friendly Ghost

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My home is possessed.

Now don’t get me wrong; I haven’t witnessed a shimmering white image at the foot of my bed in the wee hours of the night. You know I rarely sleep anymore so I’m often awake during prime ghost hours (presumably 2-3 a.m.). Anyway, what self-respecting spirit manifests himself when his intended target is wide awake? Sorta takes the excitement away from scaring me out of a deep slumber, wouldn’t you say?

boo

I’ve named my homebound spirit Winston and I’d love to meet him, if not to simply wring his neck. I imagine, though, it might be difficult to strangle a vaporous white cloud. Still, I’d like to try. The fact is, my annoying heavenly spirit has attempted to get my attention for quite a while before finally succeeding. Well done, Winston.

Turns out my earthly ghost messes with most of my techie gadgets, like Direct TV, computer, cell phone, GPS, portable speakerphone, even my Fitbit. You name it, if it’s electronic, he bewitches it just for yours truly. And to him I say:

thoughtful

Continue reading →

Live and Learn

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DMV My first mistake was procrastinating mailing in my DMV registration renewal form. I’ll get to it later. No rush. They give you a couple months to complete the task anyway. So two days before it was due, I noticed it was due.Don't be late No problem, I’ll just register via the internet. Easy peasy. When I went online, I clicked on the first option that appeared, erroneously assuming it was the DMV site. That was my second mistake. Unbeknownst to me, it was a look-alike website. So I entered the numerous informational junk they ask for. When I reached the end and was about to hit REGISTER NOW, I noticed a couple fees I’d never seen before; one for $29 and another for $8. I thought, what’s that about?fees ahead Continue reading →

Rethinking Spiders

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spider againI’ve never been afraid of spiders.

In fact, I don’t use pesticides to eradicate what many consider pesky creatures — the crawly things that visit my home. I have pets so I try to avoid poisons, nor do I want to kill any creepy looking critters. I’m weird like that.

Consequently, my neighbors’ crawly things prefer to come to me where it’s safe but apparently not so sound. That’s because I often find my little friends taking refuge inside my house…in the bathroom Jacuzzi, the corner of the living room, or especially in the garage. In the insect world, word is out where I live. And word travels fast.

I keep Kleenex handy for scooping up delicate insects to place outside. Paper towels are too rough; I might inadvertently squish a critter and have to contend with the guilt. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not fanatic about spiders. But hey, they can’t help it if they’re disgusting looking. Besides, who am I to judge? I’m no prize either.

Kleenex

At the ready

Continue reading →

The Hits Just Keep on Comin’

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I promise this will be my last Wally blog entry for a while. Now don’t get me wrong; I didn’t return him to the humane society. I’m not that cold-hearted. Frankly I’m surprised the idea even crossed your mind because it’s never crossed mine. But let me tell ya, I’m beginning to think Wally’s previous owner neglected to divulge some of the Wallster’s less desirable behaviors.

wally-on-stairs

Caught in the act

As you read last Sunday, Wally is challenged in a few areas: peeing and pooping in the house, not coming when called, chewing anything he can fit into his mouth, barking at strangers, car sickness, fear of rain, stealing food from my plate…

and-the-hits-just-keep-on-comin2

Wally’s previous owner returned him saying his car sickness was a deal breaker since he planned to take Wally to work with him. To that I say phooey! And I never say phooey. My guess is he couldn’t handle the truth — Wally isn’t easy. These days I keep reminding myself nothing worthwhile ever is. Continue reading →