Tag Archives: humor

Even-Tempered and Happy-Go-Lucky

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I want to scream. I’m talking the kind of scream where I throw myself on the ground like a 5-year-old having a tantrum, legs kicking wildly, arms flailing, red faced and near tears. THAT kind of scream.

screaming-girl

So what could cause me, a normally even-tempered, happy-go-lucky gal to feel this way? Two words…a dishwasher. God help me (and everyone around me) if another of my appliances bites the dust. I’m at the point with this Bosch dishwasher that I’d throw it through a window if I could lift it. Which I can’t. So I won’t. Continue reading →

One for the Memory Chest

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I received a call last week from Chris who has over 70 acres in the hills 10 miles from me. He and his wife are interested in getting feral cats as mousers for this, their second home with an upstart vineyard, enormous house, big red barn, a flourishing garden, a pool and pool house. In a word: the place is a dream. Yes, I’m aware that’s five words. But come on, it’s too incredible to warrant just one.

vineyard

Anyway, the vineyard is isolated almost 3 miles off the main road, winding along seemingly endless pastureland. It was then that it occurred to me this could be a setup. I hadn’t told anyone where I was going and who knows what awaited at the end of that gravel road?

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Why I’ll Never Remarry: I Don’t Have the Closet Space

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So one morning last week I’m rifling through my closet for a shirt. Rifling is probably not the correct lingo since my closets are fuller than Kylie Jenner’s lips. This fact sorta inhibits my ability to see all the clothing I own, making it extremely convenient to forget what’s hiding in my closet.

Kylie Jenner

Kylie

What I’m trying to say here is I have a LOT of clothes. An awful lot. Apparently I tend to buy things but don’t often get rid of those things, even years later. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not a hoarder if that’s what you’re thinking. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But clutter makes me anxious unless it’s out of sight. So closets are perfect places to be a closeted hoarder, so to speak.

The problem is, I don’t like 90% of my clothing. I have absolutely no fashion sense like some of my friends. For instance, Pam and Sue always look put-together, you know what I mean? They have quality clothing that drapes their bodies as though sewn specifically for them. It doesn’t hurt that they have awesome figures. Even Polyester would look wonderful on them.

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Stylish Sue

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An Unusual Gift

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I received the most unusual and unexpected gift last week from someone I’ve never met. She knows me from the work I do with feral cats and is a friend of a friend. So why did she give me a gift? Be patient, I’m getting there…

HoldYourHorses-1

Hold your horses

In this line of work, meaning TNR (Trap-Neuter-Return), I meet some interesting folks. Let’s just say not all of them particularly like cats. Some downright hate ’em. But then not everyone is perfect, right? Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying if you don’t like cats you’re a sociopath. But my guess is you’re probably close.

Anyway, my friend was telling this gift-giving person about my encounters with these as yet undiagnosed sociopaths. They’re the characters who not only make this work interesting, unpredictable, and a little bit scary, but have taught me I should learn self defense. Like yesterday already. I’ve intended to take classes for about 10 years now but have I done it? Intended is the operative word there.

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Take THAT you cat hater

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The Joys of Fostering Ringworm Kitties

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So as if having 7 animals isn’t enough, I’m one of only a few people at the humane society willing to foster ringworm cats and kittens. Consequently, I often have a room or two filled with the little buggars. By buggars I mean the kittens, not ringworm. Personally I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not an actual worm. That would be disgusting. No, it’s just a fungus, like athlete’s foot.

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Not this kind of worm

Since ringworm is contagious to people and other animals, I have to keep these cats isolated. Luckily I have 4 bedrooms so I’m an instant ringworm B&B of sorts. Come little kitties, stay a while. Relax. Chill out while receiving weekly sulfur dippings and daily oral meds.

cat b&b

This is the life

At first I wore a smock and gloves when handling my 5 ringworm domestic kitten fosters but quickly tired of that. So now I hold them with abandon. To hell with ringworm! So far so good. I’m rash free as of this writing. Just in case, I have a tube of Lotrimin waiting in the wings. I’m nothing if not prepared…

Lotrimin

Smartly, I let humane society staff perform the particularly stinky sulfer dips. I have my limits you know. But I do give the kittens oral meds each morning along with meds for my aging Greyhound. And then there’s the feedings. With 12 stomachs to fill, I don’t get to eat and run anymore. I feed them, scoop cat and dog poop, give meds, grab a bite, then run. I’ve become good at organizing my mornings.

sulfur dip

Stinky sulfur dips

Ringworm cats are unadoptable until they’re symptom free and getting them to that point takes weeks. But I don’t mind. Actually, ringworm is the easy part. That’s because I’m used to fostering feral kittens, not domestics. And believe me, there’s a world of difference. Continue reading →