Tag Archives: humor

The Fix

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I have to say I’m writing this sorely aware of pretty much every muscle in my body. I say sorely because I believe I feel pain in just about every fiber of all 640 muscles. Did you know we have that many? Me neither. I had to look it up. But my point is, I feel pain in all of them.

Let me explain…remember when I juiced for 10 days to help cleanse my system of the baked Cheetos and taffy I keep stashed in the console between the front seats of my SUV? You don’t?! Well then you need to read my post: Welcome To My Detox.

cheetos

Turns out I spend an inordinate amount of time in my vehicle traveling to trap feral cats for spay/neuter. A gal gets hungry you know. Nothing worse than trapping at Dillon Beach miles from a grocery store when a hankerin’ for cheese and crackers hits. So I keep a stash of edibles in my console. Sometimes they aren’t what one would call healthy snacks. Hence the cleanse. Continue reading →

The Way We Were

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albert park4

Last week some friends and I attended my godson’s baseball game (an independent professional team) at Albert Park in San Rafael. Being there was a trip down memory lane. Thirty-one years ago these same friends and I stepped off the adjoining field for the last time after playing fast-pitch softball for 10 years. When we formed the team I was the old lady of the group at age 20. Little did we know then what fun times awaited.

fun ahead

Sitting there watching Martin play brought back many fond memories. Insert music here: Memories, light the corners of my mind, misty water-colored memories of the way we were. Okay, enough of that. Suffice to say those 10 years together stretched into 40. And we’re still going strong.

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A few of the originals

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Who You Callin’ Fat?

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jack in tree

Jackie in his thinner days

So you know my cat Jack, right? Well, his new name is Jackie. That’s because he now shares a striking resemblance to Jackie Gleason. If you have no clue who that is, I’ll tell ya.

Jackie Gleason was an actor and comedian who starred in The Honeymooners in the 1950s. What made him stand out, besides his ability to make people laugh, was his rotundness. In other words, the man sported a rather large girth.

Jackie Gleason

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not prejudiced against those of the extra large variety. My grandfather, aunt, uncle and cousin all fit that description. Fatness sorta runs in my family, which is why I eat ice cream with no added sugar (and am teased for it).

ice cream 3

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FDA: How Stupid Do You Think We Are?

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FDA

Yeah, right

You know those commercials advertising drugs with inventive medical names like Farxiga and Otezla? What about the ones they tout but never actually mention what they’re for? What’s that all about? I suppose they want us to guess.

Okay, I’ll play along. Let’s see…a couple is strolling through a flowering field, hand in hand on a beautiful spring-like day. Is this a pill for allergies? Doubt it or wouldn’t they just say so?

in a field

Well, he’s looking at her lovingly. Maybe it’s a drug for erectile dysfunction (like we need more of those). Hmm…but she’s also looking at him with a twinkle in her eye, so perhaps they’re pushing a pill that enhances female arousal (now we’re talkin’). Continue reading →

Am I Coming or Going?

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I was glad it was Mother’s Day last Sunday because I knew I’d be running a prior Mom’s Day post, thereby not needing to actually write. What a relief.

phew relief

Lately I’m so busy I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. That saying has some truth to it. I’m decent at multitasking but this is getting ridiculous. (And I’m not even due to write my Things I Find Ridiculous column.)

Preparing for our animal spay/neuter mission in Mykonos, Greece next week has been time consuming but I’ve also been attempting (rather pitifully) to plant some annuals and power wash my patio.

backyard annuals

My backyard minus the annuals

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