Jinxed

lucky lady

Some people are born lucky. Some are ridiculously lucky. Take my friend Toni. She’s a nurse who works long stressful hours, so her way of unwinding is by hitting the local casino. Toni isn’t a Baby Needs a New Pair of Shoes high stakes dice thrower. No, she sticks to the slots. For serious gamblers that’s, well, downright embarrassing.

Looks like baby got those shoes

Looks like baby got those shoes

Now don’t get me wrong; Toni is laughing all the way to the bank. Literally. That lucky broad has won tens of thousands pulling on a germ-filled metal arm. So much, in fact, that she recently appeared in full glory on a freeway billboard holding a bundle of cash while sporting a beaming smile.

Then there’s Patti. She’s what you’d call NOT  lucky. Perhaps a better word for it is JINXED. Well, at least when it comes to things with wheels. Whenever Patti and I bike together, she carries our bikes on her car rack. Sadly, those days are over. From now on yours truly will be the designated bike-hauler. And for good reason.

My biking buddy, Patti

My biking buddy, Patti

Probably Patti's cousin

Patti’s cousin?

Once, while Patti and I drove home from Tahoe with our bikes atop her Prius, people started honking and waving. So we waved back. You see, Patti is very pretty, so naturally I assumed people mistook her for Sophia Vergara’s cousin. I wonder, does Sophia have a cousin? Well, never mind. The point is, people were trying to get our attention.

Eventually we realized these motorists weren’t waving at Patti but pointing to the bikes atop the Prius. That’s because she had either neglected to secure my bike next to hers or the rack was broken. Let’s go with door #2.

So we pulled to the side of the freeway to take a quick Leaning Tower of Pisapeek. Patti’s bike was as secure as Bill Gate’s bank account. But mine? Not so much. My bike was like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Luckily, we stopped just in time to prevent it from becoming road kill. The only damage: a bent wheel.

Then last weekend Patti arrived at my house with her bike in tow, this time on the back of her car. We then noticed one of the nylon straps on the rack had somehow melted; it was literally hanging by a thread.

After our ride, Patti hoped the strap would hold until she got home. But Patti is not lucky. So naturally, on a busy freeway the unimaginable happened. The strap gave way and her bike and the rack flew off the back of the car, tumbling and breaking into pieces while cars swerved to avoid biking debris.

What's left of the bike rack

What’s left of the bike rack

Miraculously, nobody crashed. But the rack and Patti’s bike were goners. While traffic stopped, a brave (and possibly a tad crazy) soul ran onto the freeway to collect the strewn parts, dragging them to the roadside.

After loading the pieces into her car, Patti headed home quite convinced she’s a jinx. And she’s not altogether wrong. Just moments later, the ENGINE MALFUNCTION light popped on. So she took back roads home, hoping to make it without damaging the car. But Patti is not lucky.

engine light

Turns out ignoring the dashboard warning was a mistake; the 2008 engine needed around $8000 in repairs. Ouch. Consequently, that car is now a goner, along with Patti’s bike and rack. Rough day…

And what have we learned from this? (Glad you asked.) Some people are born lucky and others are not. Some might even be jinxed when it comes to things with wheels. If so, here’s a word of advice you’ll thank me for: Never under any circumstances let that person near your bike. Or your car.

You’re welcome.

Patti's new bike

Patti’s awesome new bike

Her new car

Her gorgeous new car

Hmm…maybe Patti’s not so unlucky after all.

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