I Juice Detoxed and Lived to Tell

The fact that you’re reading this is proof I didn’t kill myself on this, my 9th day into my juice cleanse. And I’ve not killed anyone else either. Of this I’m quite proud. You see, I wasn’t so sure what would happen when I began my attempt to dislodge myself from craving sugar and get back on track with better eating habits. Let’s just say I figured it would be ugly.


…and nobody died

When I began, I expected to be ridiculously cranky going through withdrawals by juicing throughout the day, although eating a dinner of vegetables. The later hasn’t been that tough since the last time I ate meat was April 11, 1990.

Paul McCartney once said if slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be vegetarian. I saw through the glass wall that April day and that did it for me. (I’ll spare you a photo. You’re welcome.) Now back to my cleanse…


I figured right about now I’d be dreaming of chocolate flowing from my kitchen faucet. I’d fill a cup each time I walked by. And believe me, I’d walk by as much as humanely possible. Funny thing is, that dream didn’t happen. At least not as of today.

chocolate flow

Now don’t get me wrong. It hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park. The first day took getting used to, learning the ins and outs of juicing. Getting everything ready took a disturbingly long time until I got the hang of it.

I did learn 2 valuable lessons though: 1) Never take the lid off the juicer until the blade has come to a complete stop. That is, unless you want pulp splayed across your kitchen cabinets, floor and you. 2) Don’t forget to attach the pitcher while juicing (duh) or veggie juice flows onto your counters like a broken water pipe. Not a pretty sight.

I had a headache that first day, no doubt from lack of caffeine. No more delicious morning latte with milk frothed thick as white enamel paint then topped with foam. Instead I have a cup of decaf orange-tangerine tea. Actually, it isn’t half bad. But it’s no latte.

latte in mug

The first night I was surprised not to crave anything sweet but I was in the right frame of mind. I’d bought a ton of veggies, told myself I’m committing to this for 10 days, purchased a super duper juicer and that was that. But oddly, I haven’t had any cravings this whole time. I read that might happen but did I believe it? No way.


The thing is, once you clean your system of processed food, which is pretty much anything in a box, can or bag, your body thanks you by feeling pretty darn good. I read I’d be tired the first couple days so I hit the sack before midnight and actually slept – 2 things I rarely do.

I gotta say, if I strictly juiced for 10 days without eating, no telling how crazed I’d be right now; I’m guessing I’d be looney. Allowing myself to chew was a treat. Everything tasted delicious – even turnips and parsnips, which I normally despise.

turnips and parsnips

I have one more day left on my reboot but plan to continue with occasional juice cleansings to counteract the times I have movie popcorn or eat one too many treats I bake for others but always sample. And sample. And sample.

But hey, I’ve shed 4 1/2 pounds of water. (One pees like a racehorse when juicing.) I’m feeling healthy and best of all, my cravings aren’t ruling me anymore. But now I’ve come across this must-read book and am feeling conflicted:

a chocolate a day

I’m thinking they’re onto something here. Might have to investigate further.



3 thoughts on “I Juice Detoxed and Lived to Tell

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