The P Word

Red Sea

It’s practically a miracle I posted at all this week. Now don’t get me wrong. It’s not like a parting of the Red Sea or anything, but still miraculous in its own way. You see, whenever I sit down to write my blog, someone insists on sitting across my lap and napping on my keyboard. That someone is my new mutt, Wally.

wally on keyboard 5

Don’t worry, I won’t bore you ad nauseam with continued Wally blogs…Wally did this, Wally did that, yada, yada Wally….I promise to bore you only when he does something exceptionally cute or particularly irritating. Wait. He does both those things. Guess I’ll be boring you more than I planned.

I'm bored

Anyway this Wally fellow is a trip and sure to inspire plenty of blog material. Besides that, I’m almost certain he’ll test my ability to stay sane under pressure. Yes, he’s adorable as all get-out but he’s also a puppy. I never thought I’d utter the P word again. Although my memory has more holes than a chunk of Swiss cheese, some things about puppyhood are eternally ingrained in my gray matter.

Take potty training. Granted, I’ve not been home much to work on this with Wally and I take full blame for his many accidents. My bad. The thing is, he’s managed to use the dog door many times. Trouble is, what he does in the yard isn’t what I’m hoping he’s doing.

puppy

If I stand near him and continually say, “Go potty Wally, go potty,” sometimes he will. But usually not. Especially if he’d already gone under the dining room table when I was on the phone. He won’t pee in his crate, so that’s a plus, but I prefer not to leave him in there long periods. Therefore, he wears a belly band that I line with Kotex. Little did I know I’d still be buying sanitary napkins at age 61.

What Wally often does in the backyard is eat all the plums that have fallen to the ground. I then deal with the aftermath which is, again, usually left under the dining room table. He relishes digging in the garden for just the right size stick then proudly carries it in the house to chew into itsy bitsy pieces that he deposits throughout the house. Never mind that my housekeeper just left.

plums

Oh, and I guess I should mention that while Celia was still here cleaning, having just finished mopping the kitchen floor, Wally walked through some mud in the backyard. Needless to say, I mopped the kitchen again. And dining room. And family room.

Just about anything Wally finds in the garden or on the ground, he puts in his mouth — just like a toddler but even less discerning. He’s taken to barking at visitors and anyone who strolls by the house. At these moments I think of what his adoption profile said…and I quote, “A calm and mellow fellow.” They should have clarified that’s only when he’s asleep.

wally with leaf

With a leaf in his mouth

On the positive side, Wally already knows how to sit and stay. (Do 3 seconds count?) He enters his crate without an argument and waits patiently for me to let him out in the morning. Still, he has a lot to learn and it’s all on me to teach him. I’d say my work is cut out for me.

wally in chair

Prefers my chair over his dog bed

Since he struggles with potty training, I decided I’d start putting down pee pads for added protection. Trouble is, Wally isn’t using them for their intended purpose. Instead, he carries them from room to room then eventually shreds them before depositing them in pieces, you guessed it, under the dining room table.

Wally is nothing if not consistent.

dining room table

Favorite place to leave me surprises. To the right, just out of sight, is a pile of poop he left while I wrote this post.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a mess to clean up.

2 thoughts on “The P Word

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