I’m Gonna Be Rich

Apparently there are people all over the planet who are generous beyond belief. Who knew?

But since computers became a mainstay in most American households, a whole new world opened for us when we were introduced to the good, the bad and the ugly: The Internet, LinkedIn, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, Instagram. You name it, social networking platforms are full of entertainment, information, and front and center, an avenue for the disingenuous to make an easy buck.

You know what I mean because no doubt you too have received multitudes of emails proclaiming you’ve just inherited millions of dollars from your third cousin, twice removed, who lives in Ittoggortoormiit. I’d never even heard of Ittoggortoormiit (it’s in Greenland). But apparently my cousin Pavia was a rich fellow who left me a boatload of money in his will. What a thoughtful man, don’t you think?


Now don’t get me wrong; I’ve almost been fooled myself by emails claiming my credit card was charged for something I didn’t order or my PayPal account was compromised and please call 555-888-1211 to remedy the situation. They simply want my account number and password and they’ll make sure to deduct the charge. Oh, and have a nice day.

But although I’m getting up in years, I’m not yet their prime target — the elderly who are the most easily scammed. But just wait another 20 years and I’m likely to hand over my life savings to James Robert of “The World Bank” who emailed me Thursday to inform me I’m the recipient of 6 million dollars. Apparently they’re giving that amount to anyone who has been scammed by a scammer.

I didn’t even know Mr. Robert knew who I was. I certainly don’t know HIM. But once I give him my debit card number he’ll deposit the money into my checking account. I’m gonna be rich!

Seems each day I get emails from so many giving people. Just yesterday I received 24 in my spam file. I wonder why such important emails aren’t going into my usual email address? Who knows how many millions I’ve missed out on because of that?

Now that I check my spam file, it’s gotten to the point where I don’t even bother to read the ones that offer me anything under $5 million. Last week the World Health Organization said I was being rewarded $25,000 for getting my Covid 19 vaccination. Twenty-five thousand?

The most I’ve been offered last month was $9.5 million from Barrister Andre Bonvin from Benin, West Africa. But I’m holding out for more since so many are willing to give me their money. I say why not reach for the stars, right?

One of the odd things about these emails from such important and wealthy people is how poorly they spell. You’d think they’d put a little more care into their wording. Or at least use spell check. For instance, one sentence said “He have been successful…” Another wanted me to confirm my delivery address to agent Danny Brwon. I think he meant Brown, don’t you? Another was titled, Are You Dead or Alive? Seriously? I’d love to meet the dead person who responds to that one.

Mr. William Linger, writing from his hospital death bed no less, contacted me as his “last wish in earth” (there’s that sloppy spelling again). Giving his money to me, a complete stranger, will be his last good deed. I’m just so touched.

All kidding aside, Scamwatch reports that so far in 2022 the amount lost in all scam types is $336,388,544. Maybe a good idea is for us to follow the old adage: If it’s too good to be true, it probably is.

One thought on “I’m Gonna Be Rich

  1. Pingback: Promises of energy contributions – Some View on the World

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