Jinxed

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lucky lady

Some people are born lucky. Some are ridiculously lucky. Take my friend Toni. She’s a nurse who works long stressful hours, so her way of unwinding is by hitting the local casino. Toni isn’t a Baby Needs a New Pair of Shoes high stakes dice thrower. No, she sticks to the slots. For serious gamblers that’s, well, downright embarrassing.

Looks like baby got those shoes Looks like baby got those shoes

Now don’t get me wrong; Toni is laughing all the way to the bank. Literally. That lucky broad has won tens of thousands pulling on a germ-filled metal arm. So much, in fact, that she recently appeared in full glory on a freeway billboard holding a bundle of cash while sporting a beaming smile. Continue reading →

Don’t Be Ridiculous

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don't be ridiculous

Have you noticed the longer one lives, the more ridiculousness one experiences? And by one I mean me. Naturally, you wouldn’t know how much ridiculousness I personally encounter because you don’t know me. Unless you’re a friend of mine, that is. In that case you most definitely know the degree of ridiculousness I come across because, let’s face it, I make sure you do.

If we’ve never met, then trust me on this one. Ridiculousness is all around us. If you haven’t noticed, you’re either too young to know better or you’re going through life witheyes wide shut

That’s an actual saying. You can look it up.

Another nifty saying, Live and Learn, actually turns out to be true. I know I’m full of sayings today but what can I say? Other than let me tell you the latest ridiculous thing I’ve lived and learned… Continue reading →

Where Are We Again?

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don't foget A couple weeks ago I divulged my innate ability to get lost (even with GPS). This week, why not tackle my skill at losing things? Things like my keys, my mind and my glasses. I thought I’d slip in the losing my mind reference without much notice, but seems you were paying attention.

My nickname in high school was Skippy because I was, well, a bit scattered and yes, forgetful. Still am. Friends even went so far as to choose that name as my personalized license plate. Motorists thought I loved peanut butter or had a passion for skipping. Little did they know. I’ve been know to forget having met someone. Unbelievable, huh? Sometimes I don’t recall places I’ve supposedly visited. I’ve even watched an entire movie then realized, as the credits rolled, that I’d seen it before. I’ve always been this way, which in a sense gives me comfort. Continue reading →

The Innocence of Youth

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On Easter, it seems appropriate to repost this blog from a while back…

Janet's avatarNow Don't Get Me Wrong

I still remember that fateful afternoon. I was 8-years-old, walking home from school with my 10-year-old sister, when I learned there was no Easter bunny. She divulged it as if Easter-Bunnysimply commenting on the weather.

In disbelief, I ran crying all the way home, anxious for my mother to dispel that awful lie. She tried, but to no avail. Once I allowed myself to reason, doubt crept in.     

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Getting Lost

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compassI have absolutely no sense of direction. Consequently I’m always lost. That’s unless I’m armed with a device that talks to me and leads the way. In fact, I’m not even sure how I got anywhere until good ol’ GPS came along. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m being serious.

Back in the day, before MapQuest and various technological inventions navigated for us, we relied on paper maps and verbal directions. It was hell. But getting around now is much simpler. Having a sucky sense of direction should no longer be a handicap, right? One would think. But my GPS (Stella) just happens to be directionally challenged.

Stella

Stella

Sometimes I’ll test Stella even when I know where I’m going. I’ll enter the address, hit the gas and see what transpires. Invariably, she takes the longest route. Sometimes I think she’s high or maybe in the throes of dementia. Simply put, much of the time Stella has absolutely no idea where she’s going. So that makes two of us. Continue reading →